Chapter 7 — Half a Life for a Life

Tieu Mong covered her mouth. Cry until your shoulders shake. Final. She nodded.
"Sorry."
When leaving the hospital room. Her back staggered as if about to fall. A Nghien looked at the ceiling. Cry again for a long time. I stood by the bed. Suddenly I really wanted to ask him. A Nghien. I locked myself in regret. Would you be happier? But... The dead have no voice. And the living... Can't hear it either.
09
The divorce procedure was resolved very quickly. Right after that. It's my funeral. The spiritual hall is covered in black and white. Those who were still standing at the wedding yesterday wished a hundred years of happiness. Today I wore mourning clothes. Quietly bow your head before my photo. A Nghien's parents and A Nghien almost never left the coffin. Mom hugged my photo. Time after time caressing the eyebrows and corners of the eyes in the photo.
“Mom's Han Han is very good.”
"From a young age, I knew how to give all the good things to my younger brother."
“For this family.”
“Not even my life is needed.”
“But mom…”
“Why do you force me to drink alcohol?”
“How can you say I'm selfish?”
She repented again and again. Cry until you faint. But... The eyes of her relatives looking at her left only silence. Someone sighed.
“Now say these words…”
“It's too late.”
“Is it fake illness or not?”
“Parents like you two should understand best.”
Dad knelt before the coffin. From morning to night. Always keep the surgery consent form tightly in your hand. The corners of the paper were wrinkled with sweat and tears. A Nghien did not say a word. Just keep looking at family photos. Look for a moment. Slap yourself again. I want to stop. But can't stop it. Burial day. Very heavy rain. The coffin was slowly lowered into the grave. Soil is covered layer by layer. Mom cried so much she couldn't stand. Dad suddenly seemed crazy. Rushed to hug the tombstone. Both hands clung tightly and refused to let go. Fingertips torn apart. Blood mixed with rainwater.
“Han Han.”
“Dad, you were wrong.”
“Go back.”
“Dad will never let you feel sorry for yourself again.”
But… Tombstone wouldn't answer. The coffin will also not open. The soil fell layer by layer. Completely separates me from this world. I kept thinking… It's finally over. They won't suffer for too long. Anyway after the surgery. They also cried because of me. Ever felt guilty. Used to carefully take care of me. It's just... Feeling guilty will make you tired. It hurts for too long. In the eyes of others, it will gradually become too much. I kept thinking… This time too.
10
But… Maybe I guessed wrong. Blink. Five years passed. In that house. Not a single drop of alcohol appeared anymore. Mom just smells the smell of wine-filled chocolate and she will vomit. Dad passed by the hotel where the wedding party was held. All are very far detours. They often come into my room. Closed all day. Everything in the room remains the same. The wheelchair was wiped clean. The medicine box is still in its original position. The gold-embroidered dancing dress was almost sold. Washed by my mother. Place in a transparent dust bag. Hang it in the most visible place. She sat by the bed. Talk to an empty room.
“Han Han.”
“Today I learned another dish you like to eat.”
“Don't add a drop of cooking wine.”
“Can I go home and have a taste?”
Dad's hair has turned white. He wrote down every cruel sentence he ever uttered. Every time I finish writing. Write another line below. “I was wrong.”
Arrived on the day of my surgery. The two of them did not eat. Do not drink. Holding my medical records until morning. Waking up from a dream in the middle of the night. Mom always burst into tears.
“Han Han…”
“Don't drink anymore.”