Chapter 17 — I Never Made It to Nam Thanh With You

In my previous life, when this journal was first published, I did not tell my father. By the time he caught sight of it by chance, the list of contributors had already been made public. He had asked me then if I wanted to have them correct the credits. I told him there was no need. After all, Yanli was my husband; what did it matter whose name appeared on the page? My father remained silent for a long time, and from that day on, he never brought the subject up again. Perhaps it was not that he did not care, but rather that I had insisted to him, time and time again, that this was my own choice.

Where are the award certificates and the original documents?

They are in my room.

Go get them for me.

My heart tightened in my chest. What for?

They are needed for the inauguration banquet.

As I suspected. Regardless of his dissatisfaction with that list of names, in the end, he still prioritized the partnership between our two families. I lowered my gaze. I already gave a copy to the Gu family.

I want the originals.

Father...

Kien Nguyet.

He cut me off. The banquet is in seven days. You must attend.

I looked up at him. And if I refuse to go?

My father’s brows furrowed deeply. You have been working on this project for two years. Everyone is waiting for your appearance. There are some things in life you simply cannot run away from.

A stinging sensation bloomed in my nose. So, even he believed I should prioritize the greater good and make concessions.

I am not running away.

Then you will attend.

The Gu family intends to announce our engagement at that banquet.

I know.

I do not want to be engaged.

Father fell silent. I waited for his words of counsel—for him to tell me not to be impulsive, not to jeopardize our business interests, or to simply grit my teeth and endure the banquet for the sake of appearances. Instead, he only said, Wait until you have thought this through carefully before you tell me again. For now, bring me the original entry materials.

My heart sank. He still did not believe that I had already thought this through. As you wish.

I went back to my room and gathered the award certificates and all the original drafts. Father took them and tucked them into his briefcase without another word of explanation. I will come to pick you up on the day of the banquet. With that, he walked out the door.

I stood motionless in the living room for a long time. The email from Northwest University was still displayed on my phone screen. Just a moment ago, I had been so filled with joy; now, it felt as though someone had doused me from head to toe in ice-cold water. Yanli did not believe I would actually leave. Ha Man Nhu assumed I should stay. Tong Uan Ninh felt I already possessed too much and had no right to begrudge the loss of credit. Now, even my father was forcing me to participate in an engagement ceremony that had been orchestrated without my consent.

Perhaps in my previous life, it was not that I had no path of retreat, but that I had never possessed the courage to walk away alone. I returned to my room, opened my wardrobe, and began folding my clothes, packing them into my suitcase. Once the summer camp concluded, I could go straight to the area near Northwest University and live there for a time, waiting until the official admission results were released before returning to finalize my documents. I did not want to attend the banquet, nor did I want to stand before everyone to hear the Gu family proclaim a marriage I did not desire. As long as I left before it happened, could they truly drag me back by force?

I gathered my identification papers, bank cards, and the weathered notebook my grandfather had left me. Finally, I tucked the moon-shaped hairpin into my backpack. The room soon looked half-empty. Suddenly, the door pushed open. My father stood on the threshold, his briefcase still in hand. He must have forgotten something and turned back. He looked at the suitcase on the floor, his brow slowly knitting together.

Where are you planning to go?

To the Northwest.

When?

Before the banquet.

Father stepped into the room. Do you intend to run away like a fugitive?

I tightened my grip on the clothing in my hands.