Chapter 26 — I Never Made It to Nam Thanh With You

"Lam Kien Nguyet, deep down, you still have not let go."

I promptly added her to my block list. She still failed to understand. Yen Le did not want to see her, not because I had fought or clawed my way into his life, but because this was the first time he had truly tasted the bitterness of losing everything he once took for granted. When people are stripped of their familiar stability, they often mistake that sudden void for love. As for whether those two would end up together in the future, it was no longer my concern.

Three days later, the summer camp team prepared for departure. Father saw me off to the train station. I did not bring much luggage—just one suitcase and a single backpack. Inside the bag lay my old, worn field notebook and the crescent-shaped hair clip. Before I boarded, Father could not stop showering me with instructions.

"Call me the moment you arrive."

"If you find the climate doesn't agree with you, head straight to the hospital."

"Don't skip your meals just to keep up with the work schedule."

I nodded with a smile, "I will remember, Father."

The station loudspeaker crackled, announcing the boarding call. Father hesitated, clearly unwilling to let me go. He looked at me, his voice softening, "Kien Nguyet, in the future, if there is anything that displeases you, remember to voice it early. Do not suffer in silence."

My nose stung. "I understand."

Just as I turned to pass through the ticket gate, I heard rapid, heavy footsteps behind me. Yen Le rushed forward, breathless. His hair was disheveled, and his hand was still tightly clutching that small ring box. Father glanced at him briefly before stepping aside to wait for me. Yen Le froze in front of me.

"Are you truly leaving today?"

"Yes."

"But the summer camp doesn't officially begin for another two days, does it?"

"I am leaving early to meet with the professors."

He fell silent for a long moment. "The train to the Southern City also departs today."

I knew that. In my past life, this was the very day we boarded the high-speed train heading south together. He had sat by the window; I had sat beside him. Uyen Ninh sat in the row right in front of us. Throughout the entire journey, Yen Le had only eyes and ears for her, leaving me to guard our luggage, a completely superfluous existence. In this lifetime, the seat beside him would remain empty.

"Kien Nguyet," Yen Le suddenly asked, "did you really never love me?"

I shook my head. "I once did."

A flicker of fragile hope ignited in his eyes. "Then we still have a chance."

"No, we don't."

"Why?"

"Because when I loved you, I gave you everything I possibly could. Now, there is nothing left to give."

His throat bobbed as he swallowed hard. "I can change. I won't meddle in Uyen Ninh's affairs anymore. From now on, if you don't consent, I will never touch your belongings again. I don't have to go to the Southern City either. I will go to the Northwest with you."

I looked at him calmly. "You don't care for historical preservation. You wouldn't be able to endure the hardship of being rooted in the field for so long. You only want to go to the Northwest because you are terrified of me leaving. Once that fear subsides, you will eventually resent me for ruining your own plans."

Yen Le panicked, trying to argue back, "That won't happen."

"In my past—" I nearly let the words slip, but caught myself just in time. The version of him standing before me knew nothing of those twenty years that had already transpired, and there was no need for me to enlighten him.

"The person you are desperately trying to hold onto right now is not me. It is the version of Lam Kien Nguyet who would never say no to you, the one who would remain by your side for eternity. But she is gone."

The speakers blared again, urging passengers to board. I pulled my suitcase forward. Yen Le remained standing in my path.

"Then what was the last eighteen years?"

"It was proof that I truly loved you once," I replied softly. "And it was the time it took for me to finally learn how to stop."

His arms slowly dropped to his sides. I brushed past him and walked away.