Chapter 18 — I Never Made It to Nam Thanh With You

After all, no one here truly wanted me to remain myself, did they?

My father’s expression shifted instantly. Who told you that I did not want you to be yourself?

I hung my head low, my voice barely a whisper. You took my original work. And you insisted that I attend the inauguration banquet. The Co family is going to announce our engagement there. You know perfectly well that I do not consent to any of this.

My father looked at me, falling into a long, heavy silence. He set his briefcase upon the table, opened it, and drew out a stack of award certificates along with every single one of my original design documents. Not a single page was missing.

I did not take these to hand them over to the Co family, he said.

Then what are they for? I asked.

To confirm the copyright.

I was stunned. Father flipped to the competition certificate lying on top. The design for the Moonlit Villa was your independent work. Just because the Co family provided the site and construction resources does not mean they have the right to bury your name at the bottom of the credit list. I contacted your advisor this afternoon. I also spoke with Professor Shen. He will be attending the banquet.

I stared at my father, bewildered, unable to process his words. But you told me I had to cooperate with the Co family. Why would you force me to work with them only to have them steal my own creation?

His voice was deep and firm. I made you participate because your work was being usurped. You must be the one to take it back with your own hands.

But what about the engagement?

If you say you do not agree, I will never give my consent. He peered deep into my eyes. You have never seriously spoken to me about this before. I had always assumed you wanted to be with Co Ngan Le.

My past self had certainly made that painfully obvious. I memorized what food Co Ngan Le liked. I researched the universities he planned to apply to. Whenever the Co family needed assistance, I was always the first to rush over. Everyone could see it; I was in love with him. My father, naturally, saw it too.

I used to want that, I said softly. But I do not anymore.

Father asked, Is this because of Tong Uan Ninh?

No. Whatever girl Co Ngan Le likes is his own business. It is just that I no longer wish to abandon myself for his sake.

Father sat down on the edge of the bed. Then, tell me, what is it that you truly want?

I opened my mouth, but the question felt alien. In my past life, no one had ever asked me this. Or perhaps someone had, but I had always corrected the answer to: Co Ngan Le. I thought for a long time.

I want to attend the Northwest University, I said. I want to study historic preservation. I want to travel and see the villages and ancient homes that are on the brink of vanishing. I do not want to go to the South City. I do not want to work for the Co family firm. And I certainly do not want to marry Co Ngan Le.

Every word was soft, yet speaking them felt as if I were finally lifting the massive boulder that had crushed my heart for over twenty years. As the final sentence left my lips, I could not hold back my tears. Father, I was afraid of jeopardizing your business. I was afraid you would think I was being impulsive or capricious. I was afraid that everyone would blame me.

My father looked at me, his own eyes rimmed with red. Kien Nguyet, when your mother passed away, I promised her I would ensure you had a peaceful life. For all these years, I thought the Co family’s background was reliable, and that Ngan Le and you had grown up together. I believed that because you liked him, he would never mistreat you. I realize now that I took the meaning of a peaceful life far too lightly.

He reached out to wipe the tears from my cheeks, his movements slightly clumsy. Business partnerships are my responsibility, he continued. If a deal can be made, we proceed; if not, we find someone else. You are not a bargaining chip for me to maintain a business relationship. From now on, you never need to worry about such things for my sake again.

I could no longer hold back; I collapsed into his arms and wept.