Chapter 1 — The Light Is Out

My fiance, Doan Gia Hua, has one rule: absolutely never sleep over at my house. Even at the most intimate time, every time after eleven o'clock, he will leave on time. He said he was sleepwalking and was afraid of hurting me. I believed for five years. Until that night, in the middle of the night, I had heavy bleeding and was in so much pain that I curled up on the floor and called him, crying and begging him to come back. His voice was very calm:

"Take a painkiller, don't rely on others for everything. I'm asleep."

It was my neighbor's aunt who took me to the emergency room. The doctor said that if it were half an hour later, it would be dangerous. The next day he came to the hospital, just blandly said "pay attention later", and didn't even ask what surgery I had done. This week, the tablet he left at my house suddenly showed up the weekly sleep report from the smart watch: This week, average deep sleep was 7.6 hours, sleep quality score 92. Location: Building 3, Thuy Ho Vien area. Every day, in the same place, for five full years. In that apartment complex I once went to, there was the underclassmen sister who was "not very close" in his mouth, and was also the girl his mother liked the most. It turned out that he wasn't sleepwalking at all, he just returned to someone else every night to sleep peacefully. As for the night I almost died, his sleep score was 94. I turned off the tablet, canceled the wedding reservation, put his keys and slippers in my bag and left it outside the door. Turn off the light that stays on every night because of him. He never stayed for me. As for me, I can't wait anymore.

1

The next morning, I sent my resignation letter to the editor-in-chief. The editor-in-chief received the email and immediately called.

"Giang Nghien Hoa, are you crazy? The matter of being promoted to chief writer next month has already been said..."

“I want to leave this city.” I calmly said, “Personal reasons, I have already decided.”

The editor-in-chief was silent for a long time.

“About that man?”

I did not answer. She sighed:

“Okay, I respect you. But don't be impulsive, think carefully before going.”

“I thought it over.”

I hung up the phone, opened the computer, and responded to a job offer email I received half a year ago. It was an editor-in-chief position at a new media company in Shanghai. The other person has invited me for a long time, but I always use the excuse "my fiance is here" to refuse. Now there is no more reason to refuse.

“Hello, if the position is still available, I can accept the job next week.”

Send. In less than ten minutes, the other party replied:

"Miss Giang! That's great! You are welcome at any time!"

I started packing my luggage. This city has nothing worth remembering. My parents moved to Hainan three years ago to retire, and my best friend was also sent to Beijing last year. Besides Doan Gia Hua, I have nothing here. But now, even Doan Gia Hua is no longer there. Are not. It has never happened before. At ten o'clock in the morning, Doan Gia Hua called. I looked at his name on the screen, let it ring three times, then picked up the phone.

“What is that thing outside the door?” His voice was unhappy, "Giang Nghien Hoa, what are you causing trouble again?"

Again. This word makes me feel ironic. In his eyes, any emotion I have is "rioting". Three years ago I said I wanted him to be with me on my birthday, he told me to do it chaos. Two years ago I asked him why he never took me out to meet his friends, and he said I was making a mess. A year ago, I suggested that I wanted to move in together, but he also told me to make trouble. I am forever causing chaos, and he is forever "tolerating" my unreasonableness.

“Farewell.” I said.

The other end of the line was silent for two seconds.

“What?”

"I said goodbye. The wedding is canceled."

Doan Gia Hua's voice finally wavered.

"What's wrong with you? Are you still angry about the last time you got sick? I said I would pay attention later..."

“Doan Gia Hua.” I interrupted him, my voice very calm, "Building 3, Thuy Ho Vien area, Duong Nguyet's house. Every night you sleep there. Your smart watch is really smart."

The other end of the line was dead silent. I can imagine the look on his face right now. On that always calm face, cracks must have appeared for the first time. Five seconds, ten seconds, fifteen seconds. He finally opened his mouth, his voice low:

“You went through my stuff?”

I burst out laughing. It really feels very funny. When discovered to be cheating, the first reaction is not to explain, not to apologize, but to ask the other person why he was looking at his things.

"You left the tablet at my house. The notification appeared, I saw it." My voice was still calm, "But this isn't important. What's important is that we're over."

“Jiang Nghien Hoa!” His voice suddenly rose, "Can you not be so impulsive? Is there anything you can't talk about properly?"

“Speak kindly?” I repeat those three words.

“Doan Gia Hua, the night I almost died, you slept at Duong Nguyet's house for 8.2 hours, sleep score 94.”

“How do you want me to say this nicely?”

He was silent. I don't want to hear any more.

"The things are outside the door, the keys are in the bag. The wedding party has been cancelled, I will notify my relatives and friends about the invitations. You will handle them yourself."

“Don't contact me anymore.”

Hang up the phone. Then I pulled his number into the blacklist. That afternoon, I went to the wedding dress shop. The custom-made wedding dress still hanging there, ivory white silk, is the style I chose for a long time. When choosing a wedding dress, Doan Gia Hua did not come with me. He said men shouldn't look at wedding dresses, it's bad luck. Later, I heard his colleague accidentally mention it and realized that that day he went with Duong Nguyet to participate in a photography exhibition.

“I'm here to refund the deposit.”

I told the store staff. The employee regretfully said: "Sister, this dress really suits you, do you want to reconsider..."

“No more consideration.”

“So... the deposit cannot be fully refunded, only 60% can be refunded.”

“Okay.”

Stepping out of the wedding dress shop, the sunlight was blinding. I stood on the side of the road, suddenly remembering how Doan Gia Hua and I looked when we first fell in love five years ago. At that time he was gentle, thoughtful, polite. On rainy days, bring me an umbrella. Remember, I like to drink hot Americano. When I work overtime, I will quietly wait downstairs. When did things start to change? I thought for a while, probably from our second year together, after Duong Nguyet returned from abroad. He started to have that "principle". Must leave before eleven o'clock, regardless of wind or rain. I once asked the reason. He said when he was young sleepwalking, when he gets sick he will unconsciously walk around, afraid of making noise and injuring me. I also asked why there were no symptoms in the first year. Turns out it was all just improvisation. He also lied to me that because he knew me, he was no longer on guard, so the illness broke out. I was also stupid, pitying him, never asking carefully, and even deliberately looking for a lot of documents about sleepwalking, wanting to help him treat it. He said no need, he was used to it. I'm used to it. Yes, of course he was used to it.