Chapter 12 — The Light Is Out

"Nothing. I just feel... it's good to meet you."

He gently kissed the top of my hair.

“I also feel like it was good to meet you.”

In the fall, Lam Thanh came from Beijing to Shanghai on business and asked me to have dinner. On the hot pot table, she looked at my rosy face and the smile in the corner of my eyes, feeling extremely moved.

“Jiang Nghien Hoa, your current condition is the best in the many years I have known you.”

I smiled and dipped her a piece of beef.

“Of course, there are people who eat well.”

“Tsk, it's so sour.” She rolled her eyes, then leaned closer, "Oh right, do you know about Doan Gia Hua?"

My hand picking up vegetables stopped a bit.

“What?”

"It seems he left that city. I heard he went abroad to work on some kind of overseas project." Lam Thanh took a sip of beer, "Also, Duong Nguyet is married."

“Oh?”

"Yes, married to a scholar introduced by her instructor. I heard that after Doan Gia Hua completely cut off her, her anxiety went away. How ironic."

I said nothing. Lam Thanh looked at my expression and asked tentatively: "How do you feel?" I think a bit.

“I don't feel anything.”

It really doesn't feel anything. No more hate, no more resentment, no more gloating. Like turning to the last page of a book. Fold it up, put it back on the bookshelf, and won't open it again.

“Okay.” Lam Thanh raised his glass, "Then respect your new life."

“Greetings of new life.”

We toasted. That night when I got home, Tran Du An was waiting for me outside the door.

“Drink alcohol?” He smelled the alcohol on me, smiled and shook his head, "Come here, I'll help you."

I leaned against him, feeling slightly drunk making me relax. Entering the house, he helped me take off my coat, poured a glass of warm water and placed it in my hand.

“Drink some water and then go to sleep.”

I obediently drank it all. Then pulled his hand, not letting him go.

“Stay.”

He smiled, leaned over and kissed my forehead.

"I don't intend to go either."

I lay in bed, he turned off the big light, leaving only a small warm yellow night light. That was the lamp he purposely installed on the day the furniture arrived.

“Aren't you afraid of the dark?” He said, “This light will shine for you later.”

I leaned over, looking at the quiet face of the person next to me. Outside the window, moonlight filtered in and fell on his shoulders. He is already sleeping. Breathing is steady and peaceful. Right next to me. I closed my eyes, a smile on the corners of my lips. There was a time when I thought that loving someone means accepting all of that person's principles. Accept his coldness, accept his absence, accept all the "reluctant" things he gives me. Only later did I understand: Someone who truly loves you won't have that many principles. He has only one principle. That forever won't leave you alone. At three o'clock in the morning, I woke up once. Out of habit, I looked to the side. Tran Du An is still there. Breathing is stable, sleeping very deeply. His hand was still placed on my waist, loosely, as if afraid I was cold. I smiled a little, closing my eyes again. This time, I slept very well. In dreams there is light. It's not a lonely nightlight in a mysterious cave. It was the morning sunlight, passing through the curtains, spreading warmth into the room. Shine on two people. (Run out of)