Chapter 10 — The Light Is Out

“I'm just a passerby.”

After speaking, I swiped my card and entered the apartment complex. Don't turn back.

6

After Doan Gia Hua was discharged from the hospital, he disappeared for a while. No text messages, no phone calls, no appearance downstairs at my house. Quiet as if it never existed. I breathed a sigh of relief. Finally let go. Winter passes and spring comes, spring in Shanghai is gentle and bright. My life completely falls into its own rhythm. At work, I am independently in charge of a large annual project, and the team coordinates very well. In real life, I started swimming lessons, going twice a week. Sometimes on weekends I go alone to an art museum, standing for a long time in front of a painting I like. One time in the exhibition room, there was a guy next to me who also stopped for a long time in front of the same painting as me. He tilted his head to look at me, smiling a little.

“Do you like Morandi too?”

I nodded. Then we added WeChat. His name is Tran Du An, he is an architect, gentle, interesting, when he smiles his eyes curl. We occasionally meet to see exhibitions, drink coffee, and talk about books and movies we like. It's not ambiguous, but there's a comfortable, just-right closeness. He never disappeared exactly at eleven o'clock. One time we chatted until one o'clock in the morning, and he sent a text message:

"It's too late, go to sleep quickly, tomorrow I'll bring you cinnamon flower latte from the newly opened shop."

A simple sentence. But it suddenly made my nose sting. It turns out that having someone remember your interests, having someone put you in your heart, is a feeling like this. It turns out that not everyone turns away and leaves when you need it most. Some Saturday in April. Tran Du An and I arranged to meet at a coffee shop. When he pushed the door open, he sat next to the window, with two cups of coffee in front of him.

“Cinnamon flower latte.” He pushed a glass over, "Add a portion of oat milk, last time you said regular milk was a bit too strong."

I took it, took a sip, and smiled.

“Your memory is really good.”

“For important people, memory is good.”

He spoke very naturally, but his ears were a bit red. I lowered my eyes, feeling warm inside. While talking, the cafe door was pushed open again. I unconsciously raised my head to look. Then the whole body stiffened. Doan Gia Hua. He stood at the door, wearing a black windbreaker, his right leg still a bit unnatural. It is a sequela after a bone fracture. His eyes scanned the entire cafe, then precisely fell on me. No, it fell on me and Tran Du An. His expression changed the moment he saw the man opposite me. It's like a drowning person seeing the last piece of driftwood picked up by someone else. I stared at him for two seconds. Then he looked away and continued talking to Tran Du An.

“What museum did you say the exhibition was in just now?”

Tran Du An didn't pay attention to the person at the door and answered me with a smile. In the corner of my eye, Doan Gia Hua stood at the door for a long time. Finally turned around and left. Don't come over, don't say hello, don't make a fuss. Just leave. I don't know why, I suddenly had a very strange feeling in my heart. It's a feeling... like a burden has been lifted. He finally looks like a normal ex. See, be silent, leave. No entanglements. Maybe he really gave up. But I was wrong. That evening, I received a very long text message. Doan Gia Hua sent. It wasn't the tone of begging to come back like before. It was a very calm tone, like writing a will.

“Nghien Hoa, I saw you at the coffee shop today. You smiled very happily, the kind of happiness I've never seen before.”

“I stood at the door for a long time, thinking a lot.”