Chapter 5 — The Light Is Out

He's a little thinner than three weeks ago, and his jawline is more defined. There are very clear dark circles under my eyes, it looks like I haven't slept well for a long time. Completely different from the man who had a sleep score of 94. He looked at me, many complex emotions swirled in his eyes. There is guilt, there is worry, there is caution.

“Nghien Hoa.”

His voice was a bit hoarse, like he had been standing out there for a long time.

“I've been looking for you for three weeks.”

I looked at him, my heart as calm as dead water.

“How did you find this place?”

“I asked your old colleague.” He took a step forward, "Nghien Hoa, can we talk?"

I didn't move.

“There's nothing to say.”

“Yes.” His voice lowered, "About Duong Nguyet, about that night, about everything, I owe you an explanation."

“I don't need to explain.”

“But I need it.”

Doan Gia Hua took another step forward, there was only two meters between us. The streetlight cast a very long shadow on him.

“Giang Nghien Hoa, I know I'm wrong.”

I looked into his eyes. Those eyes used to make me tremble. Five years ago, he stood waiting for me at the library door, looking at me the same way, gentle but attentive. But now I just feel strange.

“Doan Gia Hua.” I said, "You said you were wrong, so tell me, where did you go wrong?"

He opened his mouth.

"You shouldn't hide it from me..."

“Hide what?” I continued asking, "Hide the fact that you go to Duong Nguyet's house every night? Or hide the fact that you don't sleepwalk at all?"

His throat moved slightly.

“Yes.”

“So why did you hide it?”

He was silent. I waited ten seconds, he still didn't answer.

“I can't answer.” I smiled lightly, "Because in your heart you don't feel like it's wrong at all. You just feel like I've discovered it, so it's wrong."

“It's not…”

“Doan Gia Hua, let me ask you a question.” I interrupted him, my voice very soft, “If I didn't see that tablet, if I never knew the truth, what would you do?”

His expression stiffened.

“I will continue.” I answered for him, "You will continue to leave my house at eleven o'clock every night and go to Duong Nguyet's place to sleep."

“Continue to trick me into thinking you're sleepwalking, continue to marry me, then continue living like that. Right?”

Doan Gia Hua's face became very unsightly. Because he can't deny it.

“So you don't have to feel like you're wrong.” I took a step back, increasing the distance, "I just feel like my plan has been ruined."

“Nghien Hoa…”

“Don't come looking for me anymore.” I turned around and swiped my card to open the building door, "I told you, we're done."

As I entered the lobby, I heard him say behind me:

“You and Duong Nguyet really don't have that kind of relationship.”

I stopped walking. Don't turn around.

“Doan Gia Hua, a man sleeps at another woman's house every night, is it important to have that kind of relationship or not?”

“Do you feel like I care whether you touch her or not?”

“What I noticed is that when I was about to die, you refused to stay for me even once.”

“Not even once.”

The elevator door opened and I walked in. Finally took a look at him. He stood outside the lobby door, the streetlight shining through the glass window shining on him. The expression on that face, I don't understand, nor do I want to understand anymore. The elevator door closed. I closed my eyes and leaned against the elevator wall. Heart rate is very stable. No heartache, no attachment, no hesitation. There is only one type of fatigue. And radical, complete liberation. When I got home, I showered and lay in bed. The phone screen lights up. It's a text message from an unknown number.

"Nghien Hoa, I'm not going tonight. I'm right downstairs at your house. Whenever you want to see me, I'm always here."

“I know what I say is pale, but please give me a chance to explain.”