Chapter 6 — The Light Is Out

"For those five years, it's true that I went to Duong Nguyet's place every night, but I never touched her. She had a serious sleep disorder. Since she was a child, she had to have someone by her side to sleep. I promised the instructor that I would take care of her."

"I know this is not the reason, I know I shouldn't hide it from you, and I shouldn't treat you like that on the night you had trouble."

"Giang Nghien Hoa, only now do I realize how scared I was when I almost lost you."

I finished reading those messages. Then place the phone face down on the bedside table.

“I almost lost it.”

What a funny way to say it. How close? It's already gone. Furthermore, Doan Gia Hua, what you're afraid of losing is not me. He was afraid of losing Giang Nghien Hoa forever standing still waiting for him, forever not asking questions, forever obediently understanding. That person is dead. Died the night three weeks before seeing the other 94 sleep point. I turned off the light. There was city light outside, but it wasn't too dark. This is my twenty-first night in Shanghai. Every night I sleep very well. Before I closed my eyes, I thought of something. Tomorrow is Saturday. I had to go to IKEA to buy a new tree lamp. Because I like a room with light. The light only shines because of me. But at this very moment. Downstairs Doan Gia Hua leaned against the car door and looked up at the sixth floor window. The light stays on for a while. Then turn it off. He held the phone tightly, on the screen were sent messages. No response. Doan Gia Hua closed his eyes and leaned his head against the cold roof of the car. Dull pain spreads in the chest. He remembered five years ago, the first time he saw Giang Nghien Hoa in the library. She sat in a position next to the window, sunlight falling on her profile face. She was reading a very thick book, occasionally raising her hand to tuck her bangs behind her ear. At that moment, he thought: This girl, I want to live with her all my life. But five years later, today, in the eyes she looked at him, there was not even hatred. There is only strangeness. Like looking at a passerby doesn't matter. Doan Gia Hua opened his eyes, his throat choked. He knows he's wrong. Wrong to the point of being outrageous. But he doesn't know how to hold on to someone who completely no longer loves him. The phone suddenly rang. It's Duong Nguyet. He looked at the name on the screen and for the first time didn't answer the phone. Press off. Then it rang again. He turned off the power. He's not going anywhere tonight. Right here. Downstairs at her house. Even though she refused to meet him, even though she would never forgive him. He also wanted to let her know: From today onwards, he won't go anymore. But he didn't know that Giang Nghien Hoa on the sixth floor was already asleep. Sleep very deeply, very peacefully. In the dream there is no him.

4

Doan Gia Hua kept watch downstairs at my house for three days.

"Miss Giang, what is that man downstairs to you? He's been standing there for three days, do you need to call the police?"

“No need, I'm not used to it.” I said, “If he affects other residents, you guys just deal with it.”

The guard nodded and left. I never went downstairs to see him. Unnecessary. On the fourth day, he finally left. Maybe it's realizing I won't be soft-hearted. Maybe the company has work. I don't care about the cause. Life continues. Second month in Shanghai. Work is getting busier and busier. The column is in charge of me Received very good feedback, the company assigned me a new communication system project. Every day I leave early and come home late, so busy that I don't have time to think about anything else. One afternoon, colleague Tieu Chau stopped by with a mysterious look on his face.

“Miss Hoa, there is a super handsome man waiting for you at the reception desk, he says he is your friend.”

My heart sank slightly.

“What does it look like?”