Chapter 3 — From the Day I Didn't Ask

"You have to let him know. He is your husband and children."

I took the apple and took a bite.

"He is your husband, but he doesn't want to be your support. That's what he said with his own mouth."

My mother fell silent. That night I slept very lightly, the smell of antiseptic in the hospital room was strong, and in the hallway there was occasionally the sound of a nurse's cart passing by. The phone lights up. It was his text message: "Why haven't you come home today? Are you working overtime?" It wasn't until 11pm that I discovered I wasn't coming home. I typed a few words, then deleted them, and finally texted back: "I'm staying at my mom's house for a few days." He texted back: “Oh, okay.” That's it. I placed the phone face down under the pillow and closed my eyes. The next morning, after completing the final examination, the doctor came to discuss. My mother sat next to me, listening, holding my hand tightly. The doctor said the surgery was scheduled for the next morning and asked me to start fasting tomorrow. My mother nodded repeatedly, even more nervous than I was. In the afternoon, I told my mother to go home and rest, but she refused. I said: "Mom's legs are weak. If you sleep on a folding chair for one night, tomorrow the pain won't be able to walk. You'll have surgery the day after tomorrow." She hesitated for a long time before leaving. Before leaving, I told him one more thing: "Let him know." I smiled: “Yes.” But I don't say it. 05 The day before the surgery, he found out. It's not me who said it. It's that you saw the deduction notice on my health insurance card. Our bank cards were linked together, he accidentally clicked on it to see the balance change message. Hospital fee deposit, 5,800 yuan. When he called me, I was sitting on the hospital bed reading a book. The phone rang, his name jumped on the screen. I hesitated a bit then picked up the phone.

“Are you at the hospital?” His voice is strange.

“Yes.”

"Which hospital? What disease? I..."

"Provincial hospital, inpatient department on the 6th floor, no big deal."

"You were in the hospital, why didn't you tell me?"

I heard his tone, some confusion, some anger. I replied: "I don't want to bother you." The other end of the line was silent for a few seconds.

“You wait, I'll be right over.”

He hung up the phone. Forty minutes later, he appeared at the door of the hospital room. When I rushed in, my jacket wasn't even properly worn, one sleeve was still draped over my shoulder.

"What disease? Why is this happening? How many days have you been here alone?"

I closed the book and looked at him. His face was pale, his eyes scanned around the room, from the glass of water on the bedside table, my travel bag, to the patient information board hanging on the wall. He raised his hand to grab the medical record clip from my bedside. I don't stop. He turned it over and looked for a few seconds, his hands began to tremble.

“Surgery? What surgery? Tomorrow?”

“Endoscopy, removed a small tumor, not very big.”

“I…!” His voice was hoarse, “How long ago did you discover this?”

“More than a month.”

He staggered back a step, bumping into the chair behind him. The chair's legs scraped against the floor, emitting a shrill screeching sound.

“For more than a month... I hid it from you for more than a month.”

I looked at him.

"Hide? I don't hide it from you. If you don't ask, I won't tell."

He opened his mouth to say something, then closed it again. A moment later he walked over, sat down in the chair next to the bed, bowed his head.

“Is it because of that time…”

“What time?”

He looked up at me, his eyes red.

"That time eating hot pot. You said I was too clingy, I..."

“You're right.” I interrupted me, "You really ask me about everything, you're too dependent on me. Now I've fixed it."

“I didn't mean that.”

“So what do you mean?”

I can't answer. The hospital room was very quiet, only the sound of the cart in the hallway and the ticking of the infusion machine in the bed next to me. He sat there, his hands on his knees, his head bowed. It took a long time to utter one sentence: "Tomorrow after the surgery, I will sign the papers." I said nothing.