Chapter 8 — From the Day I Didn't Ask

If he was very good, he would be so excited that he could fry an egg on the weekend, and even make me stand next to him and compliment him on how delicious it was. During that week, he did not play games or go out to drink with friends. Every night, he sits outside in the living room and waits for me to fall asleep before turning off the light. One day I got up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom and passed by the living room. He still hasn't slept, his phone screen is on. I glanced over and he was looking online: "Things to keep in mind during the recovery period after surgery." The search history also has the line: "How to comfort your wife when she's angry." I didn't say anything and went to the bathroom. When he came back, he turned his phone face down and pretended to close his eyes. I don't expose it either. On Thursday, he went to the supermarket to buy food, and when he returned, he brought a bouquet of flowers. Not expensive flowers, just a small pre-mixed bouquet, priced at about twenty yuan sold at the flower shop in front of the supermarket. He placed the bouquet of flowers on the dining table without saying a word. I glanced around and remained silent. While having dinner, he suddenly spoke up: "Next week I have a colleague party." I said "yeah".

“It was the group from the other day.”

I looked up at him. He continued: "I told them I wasn't going."

“Why is that?”

“Don't like it.”

I picked up a piece of vegetable and didn't answer. He said again: "From now on, I won't participate in those kinds of gatherings anymore."

"I don't need it because of you..."

“It's not because of you.” He interrupted me, "It's for myself."

He put down his chopsticks and looked at me seriously.

"That day they laughed, and I laughed too. At that time I just thought, making fun of my wife's story to make my brothers have a little fun, no problem."

I listen without interrupting.

"From now on, I won't ask you anymore, I won't look for you anymore. At first I really felt relieved."

His voice dropped.

"Until one night when I came home from overtime, the house was dark. I was already asleep. The note stuck on the refrigerator was gone, there were no messages on my phone. I stood at the door, suddenly feeling that this house no longer felt like a home."

My chopsticks stopped mid-air.

“But I don't know how to open my mouth. Because I was the one who pushed you away.”

He took a breath.

“I don't deserve to say 'can you be like before'. I can't open my mouth to say that."

I bowed my head and picked up two pieces of rice. It took a long time to say one sentence: "So now you've said it."

“Yes.”

“Is there any use in saying it?”

He did not answer. I don't force you to answer either. 11 On the tenth day after surgery, I went to the hospital to have my stitches removed and have a follow-up examination. He drove me. On the way we talked little, the radio station played light music. After parking the car at the hospital, he and I walked towards the inpatient department. When passing by that hallway, I stopped for a moment. It was the row of plastic chairs where I sat holding the medical examination results that day. He followed my eyes.

“Did you sit here that day?”

“Yes.”

He stood there staring for a long moment. I walked first, he hurriedly followed. The stitches were removed very quickly. The doctor said the wound recovered well, advised to be careful not to lift heavy objects, and periodically come for checkups. Leaving the clinic, he asked me: "Are you hungry? Let's go eat something?"

“Okay.”

We went to a small noodle shop on the street next to the hospital. He ordered two bowls of noodles, one bowl clear water (not spicy), a bowl of wine sauce. The bowl of clear water was pushed towards me.

“I can't eat spicy food right now.”

I took it and ate a few chopsticks. He sat across from me watching me eat, his bowl barely touched.

“I want to tell you something.” He suddenly spoke up.

“You say it.”

“Last week, the day you were in the hospital, I called my mother.”

I raised my head.

"I told my mother about you being in the hospital. She scolded me. She scolded me for nearly an hour."

“Yes.”