Chapter 5 — From the Day I Didn't Ask

The nurse came over to check on me a bit and said the surgery went very smoothly. Now I'm back in the hospital room for monitoring. On the way back to the hospital room, I glanced at the hallway. He was sitting on a bench outside the operating room, his hands in his hair, his back hunched. Hearing the sound of a cart, he jumped up, stood up and ran in this direction.

"What's wrong? What did the doctor say?"

The nurse replied: "The surgery was successful, you can go back to the hospital room to rest." He walked next to the bed and kept looking down at me. I closed my eyes, not looking at him. Returning to the room, my mother rushed back and forth, wiping my face, pouring water, and adjusting the height of the head of the bed for me. He stood rooted to the spot, wanting to help but unable to intervene. When my mother brought the things around him, he took a step back. In this whole room, you look like a superfluous person. In the afternoon, the anesthetic wore off and the wound began to hurt. It's a dull pain, coming from time to time, every time I turn I get sharp pain. I bit my lip and endured, not making a sound. He sat next to the bed, saw me frowning, and immediately jumped up: "Are you in pain? Let me call the nurse."

“No need, it's normal.”

“Do I need more painkillers?”

“No need.”

He sat down again. When my mother went to buy food, there were only two of us left in the room. Silence for a long time. He opened his mouth first: "Sorry." I looked up at the ceiling.

“What are you sorry about?”

“You shouldn't... you shouldn't have said that to me that day.”

“That day? Which day?”

His voice lowered: "The day we went to eat hot pot."

“Oh.”

“I know you're angry.”

“I'm not angry.” I turned to look at him, "I'm just listening. You said don't cling to me anymore, I won't cling. You said don't ask me about anything, I won't ask. Isn't that what you want?"

His lips moved.

"I didn't... I was drinking at that time, I couldn't keep my mouth shut."

“If you drink alcohol, your words don't count?”

He was speechless. I continued to look at the ceiling.

“Do you know what I felt the day I received the medical examination results?”

He leaned forward, waiting for me to speak.

“I sat in the hospital hallway, looking at the results, and my first reaction was not fear.”

“What is it?”

“It's feeling lucky.”

He was stunned.

"Fortunately, I'm no longer dependent on you. If I had discovered my illness two months ago, I would definitely have called you crying. Then what would you have said? 'Don't make a big deal out of something small'? 'Can't you handle it yourself'?"

His face turned white immediately.

“I won't be like that.”

“I will.”

My voice is very calm, not crying, not shaking.

"I always feel like if you ask me anything you're causing trouble for me. So if you get sick, isn't that a bigger debt?"

He stood up, took two steps back, his back against the wall. He covered his face with his hands, his shoulders shaking. I don't relent. Before, I would have been soft-hearted. Seeing you sad, I will immediately say "Forget it, I won't say it anymore". But not now. 08 He stayed in the hospital room all day. When my mother returned, he went out to sit in the hallway and did not return. At night, his mother told him to go home and rest, he shook his head.

“It's okay if you sit in the hallway.”

My mother glanced at me, I didn't say anything. He just sat on the bench in the hallway all night. The next morning the doctor came into the room and told me to return Recovery is quite good, one more day of monitoring and can be discharged from the hospital. When he walked in, he was carrying porridge and side dishes in his hand.

"I went out to buy it, the porridge shop I used to praise was delicious."

I took it and took a few sips. He stood next to me watching me eat, his eyes were dark.

“Go back and get some sleep.” I said.

“No need.”

“You can't be of any help here.”

This sentence came out of my mouth, and I even felt it was harsh. His body stopped, as if he had just been hit by something.