Chapter 1 — Ten Years as an Outsider

Before my mother-in-law was pushed into the operating room, I had just finished paying the 86,000 yuan hospital deposit, and heard her hold my brother-in-law's hand and say clearly: "My family has transferred your name to you a long time ago, don't let little Lam Van benefit. No matter how well she is taken care of, she is just an outsider." I stood outside the door, the bill crumpled in my hand. In the crack of the door, Chu Thien's voice choked: "Mom, don't say that, my sister-in-law hasn't treated you badly these past ten years." The mother-in-law chuckled softly: "It's not bad, his last name is Lam, not Chu. Your brother is soft-hearted, but you can't be confused. The house and savings account, of course must be left to you two brothers." Ten years as a bride, in the end I'm still just an outsider. Right before she was pushed into the operating room, I had just finished paying 86,000 yuan in hospital fees and heard every sentence clearly. I stood outside the door, clutching the receipt until it was distorted. Through the crack in the door, Chu Thien's voice trembled, as if she was about to cry: "Mom, don't talk nonsense, my sister-in-law has been good to you for the past ten years." The mother-in-law snorted coldly: "It's not bad, that's all. His last name is Lam, not Chu. Your brother's heart is soft, you can't be confused. The house and savings account, of course I will leave it to you two brothers." Right after that, my husband, Chu Minh Xuyen, spoke up: "Mom, don't get excited, go to the surgery room first. By Lam Van's side, I'll tell her, she won't mind." I suddenly burst out laughing. Turns out he knew. It's not just my mother-in-law who considers me an outsider. Even the man who slept next to me for ten years had already arranged all the humiliation for me. The nurse ran over with the surgery consent form, sweating: "Where are the family members, who signed? The patient's heart rate is unstable, there can be no further delay." I looked down at the paper, my fingertips numb. Chu Minh Xuyen was still standing inside, half kneeling to comfort his mother, as if he didn't see me at all. Chu Thien's eyes were red. As soon as she raised her head, she saw me. The air immediately froze. No one said anything. In the end, it was still me who received the pen. Sign your name, swipe your card, add your deposit, it all happens seamlessly. When the hospital bed was pushed in, my mother-in-law was already drowsy from the anesthetic, still unconsciously glancing towards me, her lips moving slightly. I can't hear clearly. Don't want to hear it either. The moment the operating room lights turned on, I stood at the end of the hallway, watching each minus-money message continuously pop out. The balance in my account dropped rapidly, as if someone was using a knife to cut pieces of flesh from my body. I intended to transfer the money on that card to my mother this month for hip surgery. Last week, the hospital in her hometown called and said that if she continued to delay, it would become increasingly difficult for her to walk in the future. I said wait a little longer, I have to take care of my mother-in-law first. As a result, the only thing waiting in return is the word "outsider". Chu Minh Xuyen walked over and gave me a cup of hot soy milk: "Don't take it to heart. Mom was just nervous before the surgery and was just talking nonsense." I looked at him, not accepting the glass of milk.

“When did the house change name?”

He paused for a moment, then lowered his voice: "Did you... hear it all?"

“I ask you, when did the name change?”

“Last year.”

Last year, my mother-in-law had her first stroke, half of her body lost strength, so I took three months off to be on duty hospital. At night, she had incontinence and I changed the bed sheets. I can't control my bowels or urination, and I'm carrying the pot. She got angry and threw the entire bowl of medicine at my feet. I bent down to pick up the pieces. My hand was cut and bleeding, but I didn't dare to frown in front of her. At that time, Chu Minh Xuyen held my hand and said: "Van Van, it's great to have you." I believed.

“What month last year specifically?”

"October."

There was a buzzing sound in my head. Last October, on my birthday, he said the company couldn't raise capital in time, so he temporarily borrowed 50,000 yuan from me. Without thinking, I immediately transferred it. The next day, my mother-in-law was hospitalized. I couldn't hire a nurse, so I quit my job and went home to take care of her. That same month, his mother transferred the house's name to Chu Thien. And I, like a fool, had my whole family hanging my heart around me.

“Have you known for a long time?”

Chu Minh Xuyen frowned: "Van Van, the house belongs to mother, it's her right to whoever she wants to give it to. Chu Thien is divorced, it's not easy to raise a child alone, it's normal for mother to favor her a little. Besides, we don't live in that house, what does it have to do with us?" I looked at him, suddenly feeling strange. Ten years of being married, this is the first time I realized that someone can talk so lightly. So light that it erased all my humiliation, hardship, and sacrifice over the past ten years.

“So what are my ten years?”

He sighed, reaching out to pull me.

"Don't overdo it. Doesn't your mother normally treat you like her own daughter? She also worries about you when you get sick, and when you go home to your grandmother's house, she even prepares things for you. Why do you insist on clinging to a house and not letting go?"

I took a step back.

“I have never stuck to the house.”

“So what are you clinging to?”

"I cling to the fact that you guys call me family, but when it comes time to divide things, I don't even have the right to know. When your mother was sick, I was a family member, an ATM, a nanny, the one who signed the papers. But when you guys did the math, I became an outsider."

Chu Minh Xuyen's face darkened.

“This is a hospital, don't make trouble.”

I looked at the operating room, which was still lit, and suddenly I was no longer angry. That's right, what a riot. It's been ten years. If they had truly considered me family, today wouldn't have turned out like that. I stuffed the crumpled bill into my pocket, turned around and sat down on the other end of the chair, not looking at him again. Three hours later, the surgery ended, and the mother-in-law was transferred to the intensive care room. The doctor said the danger was over for the time being, but he still had to stay in the hospital for monitoring, which would cost a lot. Chu Minh Xuyen breathed a sigh of relief, his first sentence was: "Van Van, how much more can you advance on your card? We just deducted the house loan today, so we're a bit stuck." I couldn't even laugh. Just calmly ask him a question.

"Who will pay for my mother's surgery next week?"

He froze, as he remembered that I also have a mother.

"My mother's side... can it be postponed? This side is more urgent."

At that moment, the last bit of warmth in my heart completely disappeared. My mother can postpone, his mother cannot. My money can be used first, because his sister is not easy. I can quit my job because his mother cannot be without someone to take care of him. My humiliation is not worth the money, his mother's words are just nonsense. I bowed my head and looked at the notice from my hometown hospital to pay the hospital bill. Suddenly I felt like I had lived these ten years like a joke. During the two days my mother-in-law was in the ICU, I hardly slept. Not out of pity. But because I'm doing the math. Calculate the money, calculate the time, calculate how many things I have poured into the Chu family over the years. In the end, I discovered that the cheapest thing was not the money I transferred. Which is ten years of not being seen. On the third day, the mother-in-law moved to a regular room. She just woke up and saw me, her eyes turned red again.

“Van Van, I almost didn't see you.”

She said this before.