Chapter 8 — Ten Years as an Outsider

The thing that made me completely cut off from the past was the second time something happened to my mother-in-law. That day was Saturday, I took my mother for a follow-up check-up. As soon as I left the hospital, the phone rang. I picked up the phone, and on the other end of the line was the owner of the pharmacy in the Chu family's neighborhood.

"Lam Van, come quickly, your mother-in-law fell downstairs, she can't speak clearly anymore, your house is in chaos."

I stopped. My mother saw that my face was not right and asked: "What's wrong?" I was silent for two seconds: "Something happened to the Chu family." My mother immediately frowned: "Don't go." I looked at her, feeling confused. Saying you don't care at all anymore is fake. After all, that was the person I took care of for ten years. Even though she had hurt me, when I heard the news of what had happened, I still instinctively felt my heart clench. My mother saw my hesitation and sighed.

"You can go if you want, but remember, you're not going back to being the Chu family's daughter-in-law. You're just going to visit a patient, or an old person. Don't throw yourself into it again."

I nodded. When I arrived at the hospital, the Zhou family was truly in chaos. The mother-in-law was lying on the emergency bed, her mouth was distorted, she could not speak clearly, it was obvious that she had a cerebral infarction. Chu Minh Xuyen was so worried that his eyes turned red. Seeing me as if he had seen a savior, he immediately grabbed my hand.

"Van Van, the doctor asked about the medications she was taking and her history of allergies. I don't remember everything, please tell me."

I reflexively read out the name of the medicine, dosage, and added the antibiotic she couldn't use. After listening, the doctor immediately went to make arrangements. Chu Minh Xuyen looked at me, his throat moved, his eyes were indescribably complex. But just as I breathed a sigh of relief, I heard Chu Thien next to me lower his voice and say something.

"Dude, it's best to just treat it conservatively. Mom is already old, so spending a lot of money may not necessarily save her life."

The voice wasn't loud, but Chu Minh Xuyen and I both heard it. The air immediately froze. I slowly turned my head to look at her. Chu Thien also realized that she had said something wrong, her face stiffened, and she quickly added: "That's not what I meant, I just... have to consider reality..." But the words had already been said. I suddenly remembered a few months ago, outside the operating room, she held her mother-in-law's hand, crying and saying, "My sister-in-law is not bad for me." It turns out that the so-called "not bad" thing, when you really need to spend money, take responsibility, and take care of it, is not worth it. Perhaps the mother-in-law also heard. She half opened her eyes, the corners of her mouth trembled, tears slid down her temples. At that moment, there was no feeling of gloating in my heart, only an indescribable coldness. The woman she cherished with all her heart, when it came time to pay the price, calculated faster than anyone. As for me, the so-called outsider, I instinctively remembered each of her medicines. How ironic. After completing the emergency, the doctor said he would have to be hospitalized for observation. Chu Minh Xuyen sat on a bench in the hallway, his whole body as if his strength had been drained from him. I stood aside, saying nothing. A long time later, he raised his head to look at me, his voice hoarse.

“Van Van… I'm sorry.”

I looked at his red eyes and suddenly asked an unrelated question.

“Now do you know how tired I was before?”

He was choked up, it took a long time for him to say "Yes".

“It's good to know.”

I turned around to leave, he immediately stood up.

“Where are you going?”

“Aren't you going to stay?”

I stopped, turned my head to look at him.

“Chu Minh Xuyen, I came here because I know what medicine you take and what allergies you have, I don't I want something to happen to you, not because I want to return to the Chu family."

His eyes immediately darkened. I didn't say more, just walked two steps, a very soft sound was heard from behind. I turned my head. I don't know when my mother-in-law woke up, half-lying, half-sitting on the bed, looking at me. She didn't speak clearly, every word was distorted, but I still understood. She is calling me. I walked back and stood next to the bed. She looked at me, tears kept flowing, her lips trembled for a long time, before she could barely say a few words.

“It was… I was… wrong…”

I quietly looked at her. In the past ten years, it's not like I've never waited for such a sincere sentence. When I first got married, I waited. While staying up at night to take care of her, I waited. When she criticized me, I waited. Even when ordered by your own daughter, I still waited. I always thought, as long as I do well enough, one day she will see it. But when I completely let go, she said this sentence. It's too late. She grabbed my hand, not much force, but squeezed very tightly.

“I… used you like family… but I never… loved you like family…”

By the end, she cried until she couldn't breathe. I stood there, my heart felt like someone was slowly pulling it out. Saying it doesn't hurt is a lie. But the pain is not because she admitted she was wrong. It's because I realized that after ten years of waiting, in the end it was just such a late sentence. I gently withdrew my hand and adjusted the blanket for her.

“Mom, just take care of yourself.”

Her eyes became even redder, as if she still wanted to say something. But I won't give her another chance. There are apologies, not meaningless. It's just that coming too late will only cause more pain.