Chapter 5 — Ten Years as an Outsider

Every morning, her mother-in-law had to take her first dose of medicine on an empty stomach at six o'clock. Chu Minh Xuyen couldn't remember. She was often half an hour late, and her blood sugar fluctuated accordingly. Lunch had to be low in oil and salt, rice had to be weighed, meat had to be blanched, vegetables had to be cooked fresh, he was busy at work and only knew how to order food, she ate two bites and complained of a stomach ache. In the afternoon, I had to do recovery exercises on time, how many times to lift my legs, how many times to squeeze my hands, how to rotate my ankles, I had previously written them all down and stuck them on the wall, the paper was still there, but no one had the patience to sit next to them and practice little by little. At night, she got up to go to the bathroom. Chu Thien criticized the smell. She came once and then avoided it. The nurse hired two people, one couldn't stand the temper and left, the other said the job was too meticulous and didn't do it. I've swallowed all those trivial things before. After I got used to it, they naturally didn't see it. Only when I let go did the Chu family realize that the so-called peace in the house was just someone standing behind to take care of all the trouble. But even so, the first time Chu Minh Xuyen came to me, it wasn't to admit his mistake. But to pull me back. That afternoon, as soon as I got off work, carrying my bag of food back to the gate of the area, I saw him standing under the streetlight. After a month of not seeing him, he had become noticeably thinner, his beard was unshaven, and his whole body seemed to have aged several years. Seeing me, he quickly walked over and reached out to help me carry my bag.

“What do you say?”

He pursed his lips, his voice lowered: "Van Van, go home. Mom reminds you every day these days, we really can't do without you in the house. If you want to go to work, I won't stop you. You're home now, I'll do more housework, and I'll slowly pay you back, okay?" I looked at him, almost thinking I heard him wrong. It turned out that his so-called "coming home" wasn't because he missed me. It's because the house can no longer operate.

“Chu Minh Xuyen, do you miss me, or do you need someone who can take good care of your mother?”

He stopped.

“Do I have to say something so harsh?”

“The truth is often difficult to hear.”

I walked around him, he quickly chased after me, his voice immediately urgent: "I admit I didn't do well before, but after ten years, do you not have any feelings for this house? Mom is just stubborn, in fact she has always treated you like a daughter." I stopped walking and turned to look at him.

"Considering I was a girl, I secretly transferred the entire family's name to Chu Thien."

“It's because Chu Thien divorced.”

"Consider me a daughter, take my mother's surgery money and deposit it with your mother, then tell her to wait."

“I was also in a hurry at that time.”

"Considering I'm a girl, taking my savings book to fill in the hole for your sister, it seems very reasonable."

He was so cornered that I couldn't speak anymore. I looked at him, suddenly feeling very tired.

"Chu Minh Xuyen, it's not that you haven't done a good enough job. It's that from beginning to end, you've never stood by my side. With your mouth, you say that I'm a family member, but every time there's a conflict, you assume that the one who has to give in is me, the one who has to suffer is me, the one who has to understand is me. Because you know, no matter what you do, I will eventually clean it all up. But now I don't clean up anymore, so you're panicking."

His eyes gradually turned red.

"So what do you want me to do? It's my mother, it's my sister, can I really ignore them?"

“I didn't tell you to ignore it.”

I looked at him, every word clear.

“I just don't want to continue taking care of you anymore.”

That sentence was like a stab knife, cutting off his last bit of hope. He opened his mouth, but for a long time he couldn't say anything. I didn't look at him anymore and carried my bag upstairs. That night, I cooked tomato beef stew for my mother. She sat at a small table, slowly practicing bending her legs, while watching me cut vegetables.

“Minh Xuyen is coming again?”

“What do you think?”

I closed the pot lid and said calmly: "Divorce." My mother nodded, didn't say anything else, just poured me a bowl of soup.

"Then divorce. The biggest fear in a woman's life is not suffering, but suffering and still not understanding what she's suffering for."

That sentence was like a nail, driven straight into my heart. The next two months, I worked, took care of my mother's recovery, and asked a lawyer to summarize my finances during the marriage. The more I watched, the colder I became. Turns out I'm not sensitive. It was me who was really drained little by little by the Chu family. The joint account after marriage had transferred no less than 200,000 yuan to Chu Qian. There were all sorts of lists: tuition for her child's classes, money to renovate the store, divorce lawyer fees, house rent deposit, and even a sum of 30,000 yuan, which she said wanted to take her child to relieve his mind. Every time he transferred money, Chu Minh Xuyen automatically agreed, and a few times he was even the one who did it. I held the statements, my hands shaking. The lawyer finished watching, pushed his glasses, and asked me only one question.

“Miss Lam, do you still want to save your marriage now, or do you just want to protect your rights to the maximum?”

I was silent for a few seconds, then said: "Protect yourself." The lawyer nodded.

“Then don't be soft-hearted anymore.”

Perhaps the hardest thing in this world is not being strong. It's about daring to admit that there are people who don't deserve to be softened any further. The day everything really exploded was on her mother-in-law's sixty-year birthday.