Chapter 4 — Winter 1980

The three of us, blood relatives, hugged each other for the first time in such an unbearably chaotic scene. Mother sat on the ground, looking at us, her eyes empty. Dad stood next to us, looking at us, his face full of regret and shame. This house has been torn apart. No, this place is not a house at all. This is a cage built from lies, deception and selfishness. Now, the door is open. “Let's go.” You, no, it's dad. He held my hand, then held her hand. His hand was very big, very warm. "Let's go home." Go home. What a warm word. But where is our home? Taiwan? A place I've only seen in books. "I'm not going!" Mom suddenly jumped up from the ground, like a crazy lioness, blocking the yard door. "Don't let anyone go!" She spread her arms, her hair was messy, there were clear hand prints on her face. "Lin Kien Quan! Tran Hi was raised by me! He has to take care of me for the rest of his life!" "Tran Niem was also picked up by me! Without you, he would have died long ago. he's frozen to death in the cemetery! His life belongs to me!” “You guys can't just leave!” She started to complain. This is the final weapon, also the weapon she is most proficient at. Father frowned. "Eldest sister, we've already finished talking. I'll give you the gold bar, and I'll still send you money. Tinh Uyen's nurturing grace, we accept it." "You don't want my change!" Mom spit out a mouthful. “I want my daughter!” She pointed at her, then at me. “Both of them have to stay!” “Can you please be reasonable!” Father was so angry that his voice changed. "Ly?" Mom laughed coldly. "In this house, you are the reason! You speak the word!" I looked at her. Look at this woman who raised me for more than ten years. My heart is very chaotic. She was right, if it weren't for her, I probably would have died a long time ago. I owe you my life. But this coldness of more than ten years, this indifference of more than ten years, these countless days of not having enough to eat and not being warm, could it be that she didn't give it to me? Use one life in exchange for being humble and obeying for the rest of my life. Is this debt really worth it? I slowly separated from my father and sister's arms. I walked in front of my mother. Everyone looked at me. Mom also looked at me, a smug glint in her eyes. She thought I had softened. She thought I would be bound by the four words "saving grace". I looked into her eyes, very calmly opened my mouth. "You saved my life, I remember." "I will repay this favor later." "But," I paused, speaking word by word, "from today onwards, I don't want to be your daughter anymore." "I want to follow my father." The pride on my mother's face immediately froze. She looked at me incredulously. As if you never knew me. In her eyes, I have always been Tran Niem who patiently endured, not daring to resist. As a puppet, she told me to go east and absolutely not dare to go west. She didn't expect this puppet to open his mouth to say "no" today. "What... what did you say?" Her voice trembled. “I said, I want to go.” I repeated once, my voice not loud, but very determined. "Thank you for raising me for more than ten years, I will think of a way to repay you. I will give you money, a lot of money. But in this house, I don't want to stay anymore." I said honestly. From the moment I learned the truth, this place was no longer home for me. It was just a temporary residence filled with painful memories. “It's a betrayal! It's a betrayal!” Mom finally completely exploded. She raised her hand, wanting to slap my face. But her wrist was held tightly by another hand. It's dad. That man who had been weak all his life was now like a mountain, standing in front of me. He held his mother's hand, his eyes bloodshot. "That's enough!" He screamed at his mother, letting out the first angry roar in his life. "Haven't you caused enough chaos!"

Let them go!”07Dad's scream was like thunder. It shook my mother. It also shook me. He squeezed her wrist tightly, the blue veins on the back of his hand appeared. “Let them go.” He repeated once, his voice was hoarse, but with an absolute determination not to doubt. Mother looked at him bewildered. The man who had lived with her for decades, she thought she understood like the back of her hand. At this moment, it became extremely distant. strange. "You... you yell at me because of these two outsiders?" Mother's voice was filled with self-pity and disbelief. In her heart, she is an outsider, and only she is the center of this house. "They are not outsiders!" Dad roared. “Tran Hi… Tinh Uyen is your granddaughter! Tran Niem is... also her granddaughter! You've been treating them like buffaloes and horses for more than ten years, isn't that enough? "You lied to me, lied to everyone! What else do you want now? "Dad's chest heaved violently. The resentment and cowardice that had accumulated over half his life at this moment all exploded out. Mom was so yelled at that he couldn't say a word. She looked at her dad's bloodshot eyes and finally realized that this man was really angry. She was scared. She slowly let go, the madness in her eyes receding, replaced by a kind of panic.