Chapter 8 — Winter 1980

"During this time, you two are not allowed to interfere in any of my matters. Otherwise, we will go our separate ways, and you two won't get a penny."My plan is very simple, and also very cruel. I want to use money to quantify this so-called "love". Using the most mundane and most direct way, cut off all emotional ties between us. After my mother heard my words, she was so angry that her whole body trembled. "Ten dong? Are you giving alms to a beggar?" "I raised you so much, you only give me ten dong a month?" "So how much do you want?" I asked coldly. “At least… at least twenty!” She opened her mouth and demanded the sky-high price. "Okay." I agree very emphatically. “As long as I can find it.” Mom was stunned. She didn't expect me to agree so quickly. On the contrary, it made her feel like she was punching cotton. "But," I changed my tone, "the money is given to you two, you must obey my rules." "First, don't mention my father and sister's stories, don't write letters to bother them." "Second, don't come into my room, don't touch my things." "Third, and the most important point, don't point fingers at me anymore, don't use your 'mother' status to pressure me anymore." "Now." we are a creditor-debtor relationship.” “Can you do it?” I stared into her eyes. She was suppressed by my aura and unconsciously nodded. When she reacted and wanted to change her mind, I took my iron box and went into the winter room. With a "bang", the door closed. Dad looked at the tightly closed door, sighed, and said to mother: "Tu Nga, listen to me... it's our fault... it's her fault..." Mom sat on the dirt bed, not saying a word for a long time. Perhaps in her entire life she never expected that her weakest, most obedient daughter would hide such energy within her. The first day of dividing the house. The house was eerily quiet. I used some of my money to buy some rice, and in the winter room used a small oven to cook porridge myself. Mom cooked in the western room, the smell of food wafted in. But I don't move. I know, this is just the beginning. I want you to understand, I'm not joking. I want to let her get used to the fact that there is no longer Tran Niem in this house, leaving her to do whatever he wants. I want her to look at me, step by step, step out of the cage that she built for me with her "love". The next day, I woke up very early. Wearing the only clothes that were still considered decent, I went to town. Small town in the eighties, very few job opportunities. I don't have a degree, and I'm a girl, so finding a job is even more difficult. I ran all day, talked until my mouth was dry, asked more than ten stores, and they all said they didn't need anyone. At dusk, I was both tired and hungry. I sat on the stone bridge at the top of the town, looking at the water below my feet, feeling confused for a while. Could it be that my plan failed in the first step? Just when I was in despair, a voice rang out behind me. "Girl, are you looking for a job?" I turned my head and saw a middle-aged man wearing glasses, with an elegant appearance. He is the head of Vuong station of the cultural station in town. I had helped him copy manuscripts several times before, and he had a good impression of me. I nodded. "Station chief Vuong, I want to find a job." He pushed his glasses and said: "My place is really lacking someone to arrange documents and clean. It's just that the salary is not high, fifteen dong a month, do you want to work?" Fifteen dong. Not enough to give my mother twenty dong. But I still nodded without hesitation. "I want to!" This is a start. A start so I can rely on myself to continue living.11I started working at the cultural station. Every day, before dawn, I wake up and walk for more than an hour to town. Cleaning, arranging books, copying documents. The work is very trivial and very tiring. But in my heart I was at peace

okay like never before. Station chief Vuong is a good person. He saw that I was hardworking and literate, so he intentionally taught me a few things. Teach me how to classify books, how to write a work newsletter. My world was illuminated by the light of knowledge for the first time. I was like a dry sponge, frantically absorbing it all. During the day I work, in the evening I borrow books from the cultural station to read. From fiction to history, from geography to politics. The first time I knew, the world was so big. It turns out that besides our small village, there are many other such unique places outside. The fifteenth day of every month is the day I receive my salary. I held those fifteen coins with a heavy heart. When I got home, I knocked on the western room door. Mom opened the door, saw the money in my hand, her eyes lit up a bit. I took out ten dong and gave it to her. "This month." She received the money, counted it a bit, frowned. "Didn't it say twenty? Why is it only ten dong?" "This month my salary is only fifteen dong, I have to keep five dong to eat." I calmly replied. “So you can't let me starve either!” She started to be unreasonable again. "You can go look for it yourself." I looked at her. “You have all your limbs, no illness, why can't you earn your own money?” “You!” She was so angry that she couldn't speak. I didn't pay attention to her anymore and turned around to go back to my room.