Chapter 7 — Winter 1980

She will be tormented by this "grace of nurturing" for the rest of her life. And me too. I owe you my life. This is the truth. As long as this debt is not paid off, I will never have true freedom. So, I decided to stay. Not because of her. It's because of me. Because of a complete break with the past. "Why?" Father rushed forward and grabbed my shoulder. "Nien Niem! Don't be stupid! If you stay with her, you won't have a good day!" "Dad," I looked at him, smiling a little, "don't worry, I'm not stupid." "I have my plan." "Dad, take me first. Once you're settled, contact me." "No! You can't leave me here alone!" Father's attitude was very determined. The train ran faster and faster. If we don't go, we won't be able to make it in time. "Sister!" I turned to Lam Tinh Uyen. "I hear you!" "You go with your father first! Go to Taiwan, visit your mother's grave, go live the life you should live!" "I will handle the matter here." "I believe in you, you can handle it well." My eyes were unusually steady. She looked at me, tears rolling around in her eye sockets. She read the determination in my eyes. You know, I'm not talking in anger. “But…” “No buts!” I pushed her hard. “Quickly get on the train!” The staff on the station platform were also urging. “Hurry up, hurry up! The train is about to leave!” Father Tran Quang Tai also reacted, he rushed forward, and with me pushed my father and sister into the train car. “Go! Go quickly!” He shouted: “I'm here! I won't let Niem Niem suffer self-pity!” Father is still hesitant. I directly took out all the papers and wallet from his pocket and stuffed them into his hand. "Dad! Go!" "For me, for my sister, you must go!" "Do you want to let the three of us be dragged down by her for the rest of our lives?" The last sentence hit Dad's weak point. He looked at me, then looked at her impatiently on the train, and finally looked at Tran Tu Nga who was arguing on the ground. He closed his eyes in pain. When he opened his eyes again, there was only determination left in his eyes. “Okay.” He only said one word. Then, at the last moment when the train was about to leave the station, he pulled her and jumped on the train. The train whistled and sped away. She clung to the window, waved at me, crying until her heart and soul were torn apart. Father stood behind her, looking at me deeply. In those eyes, there was reluctance, worry, and even more... a ray of trust. I stood on the station platform until the train completely disappeared from sight. I just slowly turned around. Face your real battlefield. My mother, Tran Tu Nga, was still stunned on the spot. She still seems to have not recovered from this dramatic turn of events. Father Tran Quang Tai stood next to me, his face full of guilt and worry. "Nim Niem... why are you suffering so much..." I didn't answer him. I walked in front of my mother, looking down at her from above. "Now, they're gone." "Are you satisfied?" She looked at me, her eyes flickering, her lips moving, but no words came out. "From today onwards," I slowly opened my mouth, my voice not loud but cold to the bone, "this house is decided by me." 10 "This house is decided by me." After saying this sentence, I didn't turn back and walked out of the train station. Mom and dad were stunned on the spot, but after a while they reacted and followed. On the way back to the village, the three of us did not say a word to each other. Mom wanted to open her mouth a few times, but seeing my cold face, she swallowed her words. She couldn't figure out what I wanted to do. Dad, full of guilt, just quietly followed behind me. Return to that familiar yard. Everything seems unchanged, yet it seems like everything has changed. Your room is empty. The already low vitality in the house seemed to have been drained by more than half. As soon as she entered the house, her mother couldn't hold back any longer. "Tran Niem! What are your intentions?" "You let them all go, leaving only you here, do you want to see me make fun of you?" I don't

pay attention to her. I walked over to the dirt bed and lifted up the old tattered mat. From below took out a rusty iron box. This is "private money" I have saved for more than ten years. It's a few coins or dimes that I secretly accumulated while helping others copy books and sew. The total adds up to less than twenty dollars. I opened the iron box and placed it on the table. "This is all my money." I looked at my mother and father. "Starting today, we will divide the house." "Share the house?" Mother and father were both stunned. "This... how to divide this? In the past, only sons divided the house, no girls divided..." Dad stammered. "I have it." I pointed to the amount of money on the table. "This amount of money can be considered as my filial piety to you two. It's not much, but enough for the two of you." "I'll live in this east room. The two of us will live in the west room." "From now on, we'll each eat our own share, each of us will do our own work, no relation to each other." "I owe you my life, I'll pay it back." I looked at my mother, saying each word. "From tomorrow onwards, I will go to town to find a job. I will give you two ten coins each month, as my 'life payment'." "When I feel like I have paid it off, then I will will go.”