Chapter 1 — Behind the Door is Still Home

I didn't come home this Tet, so I transferred 6,000 yuan (about 21 million) to my parents, but I forgot to turn off the phone and heard a shocking secret from my sister.

"Mom, have a happy new year. This year the company suddenly increased the event schedule so I can't come back anymore. I just transferred 6,000 yuan to my parents, you two should buy something delicious to eat, don't save too much."

I held the phone to my ear, one hand still typing continuously on the keyboard, editing the unfinished plan. Throat is hoarse from three consecutive nights of staying up late. On the computer screen, the advertising poster only has a few final details left to complete. The work chat group on WeChat continuously shows new notifications.

“Tri Dao, can the customer adjust the main color tone a bit warmer?”

“Tri Dao, please send me the animation file, I need to review it with the client.”

"Tri Dao, are you there? It's urgent!"

I glanced over, but didn't rush to answer. At least talk to your mother first. On the other end of the line, my mother's voice, Mrs. Liu Que Hoa, was heard, mixed with the crackling sound of unstable phone signals and the familiar bustling sounds of my hometown. The TV was very loud, seemingly broadcasting a warm-up program before the New Year's Eve Gala. In the distance, the sound of children's laughter echoed. It's probably Doan Doan, my sister's three-year-old daughter. There was also the sound of dishes clinking together, mixed with the sounds of adults chatting. Extremely noisy and bustling. It made the room on my side even colder, like it belonged to another world.

“Not coming back again?”

My mother's voice was long and a little disappointed, creeping along the phone waves, echoing around my ears.

“This is the third year you haven't celebrated Tet at home.”

My fingers that were typing on the keyboard paused a bit.

"Mom, there really is no other way. The program's progress is very urgent, after Tet we have to start the project."

I tried to make my voice sound softer.

"Boss said, if you stay overtime, your salary will be tripled, and there will be a project bonus. Take advantage of the opportunity to earn a little extra money."

That's not a lie. But that's not entirely the reason. Partly because bus tickets are too difficult to buy. It took two days to go back and forth. After being home for less than three days, I had to rush back. But deeper... It's because I'm a little afraid of returning. Afraid of standing in the middle of that bustle and becoming lost. Afraid of unintentional or intentional comparisons from my sister and brother-in-law. I'm afraid my mother's eyes won't be able to hide her admiration when she looks at someone else's daughter carrying big bags and small bags to visit home. Afraid of my father's increasingly heavy sighs. Money can still more or less cover up some embarrassment. At least, transferring back 6,000 yuan made my "not going home" story seem less lonely.

"I transferred the money, mom, please check. Buy delicious food for mom and dad to eat, don't always regret the money."

I say one more sentence. As if wanting to prove something, I continue to add:

“I live here very well, you two don't worry about me.”

My mother sighed softly on the other end of the phone. That sigh was very slow, very heavy, like it was pressing on my chest.

“There's no other way, work is more important.”

"When you're alone outside, remember to eat well. Don't order outside food all the time. It's not good for your stomach."

"When sleeping at night, don't turn on the air conditioner too cold, it's easy to catch a cold."

“Ah yes, your sister brought the whole family home, little Doan Doan is very naughty. The house was extremely bustling, it was just…”

Before Mom finished speaking, there was a "bang" from the other side, it sounded like a chair falling over. Immediately after that, the sound of baby Doan Doan burst into tears, and my brother-in-law's voice - Chu Hao - suddenly became much louder.

“Oh my god, my ancestors! I told you not to run around!”

"Mom! Mom, look at Doan Doan! He spilled melon seeds all over the floor again!”

My mother hurriedly said into the phone:

"Tri Dao, mom, don't talk anymore, Doan Doan is making trouble."

“Yes, mom, just go ahead and be busy.”

But the call actually hasn't stopped yet. I heard my mother's hurried footsteps and the child's comforting voice.

"Be good Doan Doan, stop crying, let me see if you fall in pain..."

I put the phone down, turned on the speaker and placed it next to the laptop. On the right corner of the computer screen, time is still jumping by second by second. Seven forty-two p.m. New Year's Eve. My New Year's Eve only consisted of a cold box of stewed chicken rice, a cold cup of black coffee, and endlessly edited designs on the screen. Outside the window, the occasional sound of fireworks exploding echoed from afar. This city has banned fireworks for a long time, but that sound still finds its way here. It's like standing behind thick glass watching someone else's fun. I rubbed my tired eyes and opened the messaging app. The transfer history is clearly visible: 6,000 yuan has been successfully transferred to the account named "Que Hoa". The accompanying message is:

“Wishing my parents a happy new year.”

I looked at that text for a few seconds then quietly turned off the screen. In the work group, urging messages flooded in again.

“Tri Dao, please respond if you see it, the customer is waiting for a response.”

I took a deep breath, trying to push all the noisy sounds from my hometown out of my head. Fingers placed on the keyboard again.

“Here, here, there, I was on the phone just now. The client's intention is to want the main color tone to be a bit warmer, right? I adjusted the color palette and sent it to everyone immediately.”

After typing that sentence, I pressed send. Then immerse yourself again in the world of colors and pixels. There are clear boundaries, there are mistakes that can be corrected, there are results that just need to click "save" to be kept forever. Much simpler than reality. The clicking of the keyboard became the only steady sound in the room. I concentrated so much that my eyelids began to feel heavy. The phone was still on speakerphone, but the sound on the other side gradually became vague, leaving only the sound echoing from far away. Looks like the New Year's Eve Gala has already begun. The familiar MC's voice rang out through the phone, mixed with the crackling sound of signal waves. Baby Doan Doan has probably stopped crying and is trying to say something. There was also the sound of a man laughing, probably my brother-in-law — Chu Hao. Then my sister's voice rang out from inside the house:

“Chu Hao, wash some more fruit!”

“Dad, stop staying in the kitchen, go watch the show!”

Full of the breath of everyday life. It's the kind of bustle of "celebrating Tet" that I haven't touched myself in three years. My fingers continued to type on the keyboard, but a corner of my heart silently collapsed. Empty. And bitter. My mother's voice suddenly became clear again, she must have just picked up the phone again. My finger stopped.

“Mom, it's me.”

“Mom received the money.” Her voice was a little closer, the noise behind her was also significantly quieter, perhaps she was standing on the balcony or in the kitchen. "Tell me, why transfer so much money? Don't you know how to keep it for yourself?"

“I left it behind, it's enough.” I replied quickly. “You two just take it, buy whatever you want.”

Another sigh.

"I'm out alone, I have to spend money everywhere. My house doesn't lack anything. My sister's house still bought so many things, the refrigerator is completely packed."

I heard that but didn't know how to respond. Are you saying your sister is talented?