Chapter 5 — Behind the Door is Still Home

Divide mother's house. It turns out that's it. It turns out that's the case. Three years ago, a new urban area in the city opened for sale. The old apartment my parents lived in for decades was demolished, they received some compensation, but they still didn't have enough money to buy a new house. My parents said they wanted to change to an apartment with an elevator to make traveling more convenient in the future. But there is not enough money in the house. At that time, I had only been working for two years and saved 80,000 yuan. That's the money I saved by taking the train for more than two hours every day, eating the cheapest boxed lunches at noon, and working overtime until late at night. Mom called and stammered that the deposit was still a little short. Almost without thinking, I immediately transferred all 80,000 yuan.

"Mom and dad, just take it and use it first. If it's not enough, I'll find a way to add more."

"Think of it as if I lent it to my parents, there's no need to pay it back urgently."

My mother was still crying on the phone at that time.

"Tri Dao, I'm so sorry for you. You just started working and have already exhausted all your savings."

Dad also choked up:

"I consider this money as a loan from you. I will definitely repay it later."

What did I say then?

"If we're in the same family, why do our parents keep saying we should borrow money?"

"How much does it cost to raise a child for so many years? This amount is not worth anything."

I never thought about asking for it back. I just feel like it's money for my parents. Is filial. It's a response. I hope they can live a little more comfortably. I never even thought about adding my name to the house book. I always assumed it was my parents' house. I only contribute a small part of my efforts. I think I'm a family member. Do something that should be done. But what do I hear now?

“From now on, the house will definitely belong to him and his wife.”

“A girl has to get married sooner or later.”

"Once a daughter marries, she is like water spilled away, unable to return to share her mother's house."

It turns out that from the beginning, in their hearts... That house belonged to Tri Tinh by default. As for me, the person who "will get married sooner or later", I don't even have the qualifications to be related. So what is my 80,000 yuan? Being filial? The "daughter marriage fee" paid in advance? Is it money that buys out my entire status in this so-called "mother's house"? I put my hands on the edge of the table and slowly sat down on the chair. The whole person seemed to have been drained of strength. My hands and feet are cold as if they were just soaked in ice water. In the chest is a dull, painful space. On the other side of the phone, Tri Tinh's voice continued, not at a fast pace, with clear coherence, but every sentence and every word pierced my heart.

“Parents also have to think about their future lives.”

"In the future, when our parents are older, they won't get sick. Who will be there to take care of us then? Aren't we still children with Chu Hao?"

"You're alone outside of Guangzhou, what can you expect? If something really happens, just make a phone call there, and nine times out of ten, she'll say she's busy with the project and can't go. At that point, what will our parents do?"

"Normally we are by your side to take care of you two, bring tea and pour water, take you to the hospital to get medicine. If you don't have any merit, then you still have to work hard, right?"

"If this house is not in your name, can it be left to outsiders?"

"Besides, the house has your name on it, so we'll be more motivated to take care of our parents. Everyone has something to look forward to, right?"

"As for you, your parents can rest assured. Later, when you get married, the children with Chu Hao will definitely be fine I will give you a decent dowry, absolutely not leaving you at a loss."

“But for now, this house must be yours. That's the right thing to do, and it's also thinking about this house."

"No matter where she goes, if she doesn't, she'll just gather dust."

“If it's in my name, I'll feel more secure. In the future, when my parents are really old, I will definitely be filial to both of them."

"As for you..." Tri Tinh paused, lowered her voice, but I still heard the second half of the sentence clearly.

“If you really understood the situation, you wouldn't argue with me about this matter.”

“If she still can't think clearly…”

She stopped.

“That's too selfish.”

Hearing those two words, I suddenly felt ridiculously funny. I want to raise my head and laugh out loud. Laugh at the ridiculousness of it all. Laugh at that upside down black and white look. I also laugh at myself for all the years I've done everything I can to treat them. But my throat felt like it was stuffed with cotton, and I couldn't make any sound. Only hot liquid suddenly rose to the corners of my eyes, causing the cold computer screen in front of me to blur. I bit my lower lip so hard that I tasted a faint fishy taste, then I reluctantly forced the choking sound down my throat. Don't cry. At least... can't cry now. I can't be in a place where they are completely unaware, sitting here alone like a fool, crying because of the people who are plotting against me. On the phone, my mother seemed to be wiping away tears. Her voice was very small, very light, but I still heard it.