Chapter 4 — Behind the Door is Still Home

On the bookshelf there are still comics and novels I bought in high school. The drawer was also filled with diaries and certificates from childhood. On the wall is still a poster of the idol I used to love, the edges of the paper have long since curled and become discolored. In the closet there are still some old clothes hanging that I haven't taken away yet. That's the last place that belongs to me in this house. It's the only support in my heart every time I drift in a foreign land. No matter how tired I am, no matter how beaten down by life, I always think that I have a place to return to. But now... They are planning to abolish that place. Turn it into a children's room. Because of the Union. Tri Tinh's voice continued to ring out, light and natural, as if this were obvious, even carrying a bit of "reasonable understanding" looking down from above.

"How many days a year do you come back? At worst, ten days and half a month. Just because of those few days, leaving an entire room empty, isn't that a waste?"

"Doan Doan is getting older now, it's good to have his own space."

"If you come back later, you can stay in a hotel. It's not like you don't have money. Otherwise, you can put a folding bed in the living room and stay temporarily for a few days."

Stay temporarily for a few days. Hearing those four words, I suddenly wanted to laugh. Even at home, I am only a "temporary" person. Or stay at a hotel. Or sleep in the living room. My mother hesitated, her voice filled with tension.

"But that's Tri Dao's room... Where will he go when he gets home? Can't really leave him at the hotel... how does that sound..."

“I'm thinking too much, Mom.”

Chu Hao continued, his voice both impatient and full of reason.

"Now that I live in a big city, is there anything I haven't seen? It's okay to stay in a hotel, it's clean and convenient, and my mother doesn't have to clean up."

"Besides, how many times a year can you come back? Just once or twice, right? Isn't it a waste to leave the whole room just for those one or two times?"

“Doan Doan is at home every day, having a good environment is important.”

“If you understand, you will definitely sympathize.”

“No matter what, it's all about the children.”

“For the children.”

Those four words were spoken with complete righteousness. I just felt hot blood rushing straight to my head, my ears ringing every now and then. Anger, self-pity, and a cold current that crawled up my spine little by little. Want me to understand? Based on what makes me understand? Understand that they were secretly discussing behind my back, calculating how to erase all traces of me in this house? Understand how they blatantly "gave" my room, my space, a little place for me to cherish... to another child? Just because I rarely come home? Just because I'm "a girl who will get married later"? An even more terrifying thought suddenly hit my head. That room is just the beginning. If even my room can be said to be abandoned... Then in this house, what else is mine? Or should we say... In their eyes, from beginning to end, I should have had nothing. On the other side of the phone, they were still talking. Tri Tinh lowered her voice, but over the phone, every word was still extremely clear, like a snake sticking out its tongue, slowly crawling into my ear.

"The room is just a small thing, Mom. What's important is... the house."

Those two words were like two heavy rocks hitting straight into my heart. It hit so hard that my eyes went black and I could barely stand. I quickly put my hand on the edge of the table, feeling it A cold feeling spread from the palm of my hand, but I still couldn't suppress the cold flow that was spreading crazily in my body. The house... what is it? I held my breath, my nails dug into my skin, using the pain to force myself to stay awake so I could continue listening. The living room seemed suddenly silent for a few seconds. Even the noisy Gala program on TV seemed to be muted by someone. Then there was my father's voice. Hoarse, heavy, carrying a look of fatigue and... giving in that's hard to put into words.

"Tri Tinh... this matter... let's discuss it further."

What needs to be "discussed further"? My heart sank little by little, like falling straight into an ice hole. Tri Tinh immediately continued, his voice half a tone higher, both urgent and tough.

“Dad, what else is there to discuss?”

“Didn't we make this clear when we bought the house?”

"Chu Hao is the son-in-law who lives nearby and takes care of his parents. Later, he will also be the one to take care of them in their old age. This house will naturally belong to me and my husband."

"And you're a girl, sooner or later you have to get married. Once a girl gets married, it's like water spilling out, will she still go back and divide her mother's house?"

“Wherever you say it, people will find it absurd!”

I just felt a buzz in my head and everything immediately disappeared. Only vast white space remains. Next was a long, deafening buzzing sound. Daughter gets married. Water splashed out.