Chapter 25 — Behind the Door is Still Home

Mom cried so much that her eyes turned red, constantly using a tissue to wipe her tears. Dad sighed until his voice was hoarse. Chu Hao felt both guilty and frustrated, his fingers kept rubbing the seam of his pants. Tri Tinh occasionally raised her head to look at me, then quickly looked down again. The smell of gunpowder in the air gradually dissipated. What's left is just a heavy feeling of fatigue.

“When do you plan to go through the name transfer procedure?”

Dad finally spoke up.

“Tomorrow is the fifth day.”

"If your parents are not busy, on the sixth day I will take you two to the real estate management office to ask about the procedures first."

“Conveniently make an appointment for a specific time.”

"The lawyer over there has already contacted you. You can come along then."

“That fast?”

Mom was stunned.

“Don't you think any more?”

“Thinking about what else?”

I asked again.

“Even though this house is still in my name…”

“Then I don't live here either.”

“My parents are old.”

“What you two have to face every day are the four walls and furniture in this house…”

“Not the name written on the red book.”

I stopped for a moment.

“In Hangzhou…”

“I have my own life.”

“You don't need to use this house to prove your position in the family.”

Mom's eyes turned red again.

“What about me?”

She choked up and asked.

"In the future, if you feel resentful or have a bad life..."

“Do you still consider this place your home anymore?”

I stopped. This question… I haven't seriously thought about it for a long time. The day I left this city, it was like a door closed in my heart. Over the years, I've only dared to stand outside the door and look in a little... But I've never really pushed it out.

“… Still watching.”

In the end, I still said those two words. Not too emotional. Just very calm.

“This is where I was born and raised.”

“As long as my parents are still here…”

“I still consider this place my home.”

Mom hugged her face and cried until her shoulders were shaking. I did not step forward to comfort her. There are tears... It's not like just a hug, or a few words "don't cry anymore" can stop. That's how many years of self-pity, guilt, guilt... Being repressed for so long.

“So later…”

Tri Tinh suddenly asked.

“How should we live together?”

There was a bit of unwillingness in her voice... There was also a bit of real confusion.

“Will you still stay with us in the future?”

She looked at me.

“Or today I tore my face off…”

“So from now on, cut it off forever?”

I looked at her for a moment.

“If it were you…”

I asked back.

“What will you choose?”

Tri Tinh was stunned. She bowed her head and remained silent for a long time.

“… I don't know either.”

She muttered.

“If it were you instead…”

“Maybe I already stopped accepting this relative.”

I smiled softly. No sarcasm intended.

“But I know.”

I leaned back on the sofa and raised my head to look at the old-fashioned crystal lamp on the ceiling. It was replaced the year I was in high school. At that time, I even argued with my parents, demanding to install more fashionable lights. In the end, the argument still didn't win. Now that I think about it... Those things are so small that they're funny.

“I will still go back and forth.”

“It just won't be the same anymore.”

“I won't hold everything on me.”

“I won't continue to pretend like nothing ever happened.”

I lowered my eyes to look at Tri Tinh.

“Between us…”

“There are some things that cannot go back to the way they were before.”

“Once trust is broken…”

“It will never be whole again.”

“There's no need to deny that.”

Tri Tinh's eyes turned red. she turned away. I continue.

“That doesn't mean we have to become enemies.”

“After Tet, I will still call my parents.”

“I will still buy gifts for Doan Doan.”

“If everyone wants, we can still eat together and talk normally.”

“If you don't want to…”

“Then everyone lives their own life.”

“It's okay to meet for a little bit when necessary.”

I stopped for a moment.

“But there is one thing.”

I looked at Tri Tinh.

“Stop secretly considering me the type of person who can be arbitrarily taken into account.”

“If there is really something unsatisfactory…”

“Just say it to my face.”

“I can hear it.”

Tri Tinh bowed her head. It took a long time to speak up, so softly that it was almost inaudible.

“Those words that day…”

“You said too much.”

She struggled to utter a sentence.

“I admit… I was wrong.”

That was the biggest concession she could make. I don't press any more. I nodded.

“I heard you.”

I don't say "I forgive you". Also don't say "let's start over". There are things... Can't be erased with just a few sentences. Dad spoke slowly.

“Before deciding anything, parents will talk to their children first.”

"I don't need my parents to ask me for anything."

“Parents have their own lives, their own thoughts.”

“I just hope…”

“Things related to parents' accommodation and aging care…”

“Then let's ask a few more questions.”

“Think one step further.”

I looked at the two people.

“It's not that parents don't know the difference between right and wrong.”

“It's just that my parents trust people close to me too much.”

“That's why I think what they said is right.”

Mom wiped her tears.

“In the future, parents will pay more attention.”

That conversation lasted from afternoon until evening. The sky outside the window changed from opaque gray... Gradually turned to dark blue... Then completely sank into the night. The lights in the apartment complex turned on one after another. In the distance, fireworks occasionally flash on the horizon and then go out. Doan Doan lay down and watched cartoons in his bedroom. After a while, he fell asleep without realizing it. Tri Tinh went in and covered the baby with a blanket and then left. She looks very tired. The corners of his eyes were still red.

“Let me go wash the dishes.”

She said softly. Mom was just about to stand up but I held her back. I gathered each bowl and plate, brought it to the kitchen, and turned on the faucet. Hot water poured onto the grease layer, making a rushing sound. Behind me was the sound of people talking softly. No more arguing. No more disputes. There were only a few small sentences mixed with sighs. I don't wash dishes quickly. But be very careful. It's like I'm slowly putting some things back in my heart... back to their rightful place. When I stepped out, the living room light seemed much softer than before. Dad leaned on the sofa. Mom sat next to me. Both looked visibly tired. Tri Tinh sat opposite, her eyes red, her hand still crumpling a tissue. Chu Hao leaned back in his chair, as if all his strength had been drained from his body.

“Let's come here today.”

I stepped forward.

“Everyone is tired too.”

Mom suddenly called me back.

“You sleep in my room tonight… is it really okay?”

"No problem."

“That's my room.”

“It's also Doan Doan's drawing room.”

I looked towards the door at the end of the hallway.

“From now on, you can slowly move her things in.”

“However…”

“Don't put all your things out.”

Mom immediately nodded continuously.

“Yeah yeah yeah, I know.”

I added.

“If one day…”

“My parents really want to change their roots That room completely became the Doan Doan's room..."

“Then don't move away quietly behind your back.”

“Just call and tell me.”

“Say that…”

'Tri Dao, parents want to prepare a separate room for her.'

“So you will understand…”

“Mom and Dad are giving her a place.”

“Not pushing you out of the house.”

My mother cried when she heard that.

“I remember.”

She choked.

“Okay.”

Dad gently patted Mom's hand.

“She just said a few words from the heart, why are you crying all the time?”

Then he turned to look at me. He pursed his lips.

“Today you said your parents were confused…”

“At this age, you still have to worry so much…”

“It's not the parents.”

“Everyone is confused at times.”

I spoke softly.

“Me too.”

I laughed softly.

“Just later…”

“Let's try not to fall again in the same place.”

Dad nodded. It was late at night. Each person returned to their room. I lie in a familiar bed. The whole room was in darkness. The curtains were not closed tightly, and the streetlight filtered through the gap, casting a pale streak of light on the ceiling. I leaned over and looked at the pink easel in the corner of the wall. The paper above has been replaced. It's a doodle. A house. An adult. Two children. Hold hands. Distorted drawing. The proportions are also all wrong. So bad it's funny.