Chapter 24 — The Bed of Your Own Choosing

The restaurant has changed owners twice, the sign is still there. Meng Lan insisted on mild spicy, Han Dongming laughed that she couldn't eat spicy, she said adults don't rely on stomach pain to prove their feelings. Halfway through the meal, Zhao Yue asked me: "Why did you suddenly change rooms that year?" Everyone looked over. I picked up a piece of fish and slowly picked up the bones. "I had a dream." Han Dongming smiled: "Dreaming that Room 406 was haunted?" "Dreaming that after moving in, you kept making the bed, collecting blankets, wiping the table for someone else. Very busy."
many years, and finally discovered that I had no place to sleep." There was silence at the table. Zhao Yue spoke first: "So you didn't come to Room 407 lightly. We let you wash socks for four years." "You're the only one who told me to wash them." "Dorm friendships don't differentiate between each other." Meng Lan touched my knee under the table. She didn't ask who else was in that dream. After eating, we went back to school to see the stadium. The student from ten years later ran by, so young that it made people jealous. Han Dongming suddenly said: "Actually, things have changed."
room, I'm always very grateful to Qian Kai." "Why don't you thank me?" I asked. "If you had not come to Room 407, our company might never have had General Manager Zhou." But more importantly, no one stopped Zhao Yue from throwing peanut shells all over the ground." Zhao Yue was not satisfied, the few people argued again. Meng Lan and I lagged behind. She said: "That dream of yours wasn't just a dream, right?" I looked at her. She didn't force the question, just held my hand: "If you don't want to talk, you can just don't." Finally I nodded. "Very long. Long enough to feel like an entire life." "Including Shen Nianchu?" "Yes." "You two got married?" My steps stopped. Meng Lan looked at my reaction, inhaled slightly. "Really yes." I didn't hide it anymore, told everything I could say. I didn't emphasize who was bad, nor made myself the victim. I said the money in the joint account, talked about countless quarrels, and also said how Shen Nianchu had been with me through the most difficult times. Meng Lan listened. After that, there was silence for a long time. "So the first time you met me, you knew I wasn't you "At that time, I only knew that she was different from her." "Do you see me as a reward for changing dorms?" "Once." I didn't avoid it. "At first, I really felt that if I just avoided old people and met new people, I could change my life for the better. Later when she came to Shanghai, I found out that my problem also moved home." Meng Lan looked at the stadium lights. "I was a bit angry." "That's why." "It was a bit heartbreaking." "Heartbroken for whom?" "You were eighteen years old. Carrying luggage, thinking that changing one bed could keep me from repeating more than ten years of my life." She stopped walking, turned around to face me. "Zhou Yanxuan, I'm not your second life." "I know." "Shen Nianchu is also not a failed version." "I know." "That's okay." She pulled me to continue walking. I asked: "No more questions?" "Then ask slowly. For more than ten years, listening to it all night affects my sleep." I smiled. On the other side of the stadium, the group in Room 407 was waving. Gu Cheng had gone ahead, his back disappearing around the corner of the lecture hall. I suddenly understood what this rebirth meant.
The real change is not that I can avoid anyone. It's that I finally stop relying on being indispensable to others to prove I'm worth keeping.

The fifth year after we got married, we had a daughter. Not in the plan. When Meng Lan discovered she was pregnant, she had just taken on an important project. My company's new warehouse is also being prepared for operation, we sat looking at the pregnancy test strips for half an hour without either of us saying anything. After a while, she asked: "How?" "What do you think?" "I don't know." "So check first, listen to what the doctor says and then decide." She looked at me: "You don't have a standard answer?" "This question hasn't been done yet." In the end we decided to keep it. It's not because my parents urged me to, nor do I feel like marriage must have children. Just the day after the check-up, they walked out of the hospital and both felt they could try adjusting their lives for once for a new life. Meng Lan did not quit her job. I did not promise that I could take over all the housework. We hired a maid during the day, and our mothers took turns coming to stay for at most a month at a time, avoiding two adults commanding the kitchen at the same time. After my daughter was born, the most frequent arguments in the house were who forgot to buy diapers and whose turn it was to get up in the middle of the night. One time, I went on a business trip for three consecutive days, and when I returned, I saw that Meng Lan looked exhausted and milk bottles were piled up in the sink. She hugged the child and said it was okay, telling me to sleep first. I stood at the bedroom door and suddenly remembered my previous life. Back then, I always said it was okay too. If you talk too much, other people will actually think it's okay. I put down the suitcase: "What do you want me to do most now?" "Carry the baby for two hours." "Okay." "And wash the milk bottles." "Okay." "Do not make that face, as though you are sacrificing your career." "What's wrong with my face?" "Yes. It looks like your father when he sold the lathes that year."