Chapter 8 — The Bed of Your Own Choosing

Shen Nianchu asked: "Where is my normal way of looking at people?" Meng Lan pointed towards the dormitory next door. Shen Nianchu was not angry, just said: "Gu Cheng is not as bad as you think." I was entering an order, my finger stopped. She realized, turned to me: "I'm not trying to help him. I just feel that I can't negate an entire person because of one part of the problem." "Agree." "Do you really agree?" "I never said he didn't have good points." She looked at me for a moment: "Zhou Yanxuan, I have found out that your most obnoxious trait is not talking harshly." "So what?" "Every time you seem to know in advance what other people will choose." I didn't answer. She was right. After reincarnation, I always used the results of my previous life to judge them. Gu Cheng had not taken over my plan, and Shen Nianchu had not yet become my wife, but I had put them in their old positions. That day, the shop was closed, and it was pouring heavily outside. Shen Nianchu did not bring an umbrella. She stood at the door, waiting for the rain to ease. Meng Lan had already left, and Boss Qiang had lent his only spare umbrella to the delivery driver. I have an umbrella. In my previous life, at this time I would have given the umbrella to Shen Nianchu and walked back to the dormitory in the rain. The next day she brought me ginger tea, I was happy for a long time. I opened the umbrella: "The girls' dormitory is convenient, let's go." She looked at me: "Aren't you afraid of being someone else?" "Taking your classmates back to the dormitory is temporarily unrelated to your lifelong responsibilities." She crawled under the umbrella, intentionally half a step away from me. The rain was very heavy, pounding on my face. As we passed the stadium, she suddenly said: "Actually, I never thought about what would happen to Gu Cheng in the future." "Yes." "You don't ask why?" "If you want to say it, you will say it." She was silent for a while. "I'm just used to having him there. When I was little, I felt like he could solve anything, but when I grew up, I discovered that many things were solved by others for him." My hand holding the umbrella tightened. These are words she never said in her previous life until the divorce. I turned my head to look at her. Shen Nianchu was also looking at me: "That's why. Don't always be on guard against me like against a flood. I'm not as confused as you think." At that moment, I was truly moved. I thought maybe if I changed the beginning, the ending would really be different.

In the second semester of the first year, Shen Nianchu officially joined our project. Not because of Gu Cheng, nor to prove anything to me. The website needed to apply for a school startup location, had to organize user data, she stayed up three nights to finish the report, and even Meng Lan couldn't find an error. After knowing what happened, Gu Cheng did not make a fuss, just joked at the class party: "Now Nianchu is boss Zhou's person, if you want to ask her to do something, you have to make an appointment in advance." There were people at the table shouting and teasing. Shen Nianchu immediately said: "Who am I? I'm just a project member." Gu Cheng smiled and raised his glass: "Okay, independent woman." His voice was light, Shen Nianchu's face darkened. After the party, she walked alone behind the others. I walked with her to the bus station, she asked: "Are you happy?" "What's happy?" "Seeing that Gu Cheng and I have turned against each other." "No." "Your mouth said no, but your eyes seemed to finally be waiting for the forecast of rain." I stopped walking: "Shen Nianchu, I don't need you to turn against him." "So what do you need?" "It's your matter, you decide for yourself. You can help him, or you can't help, it's also fine, just don't let me bear the consequences." "Okay." She raised her head and looked at me: "What if I want to date you?" A bus roared past us, sweeping dust between us. I thought I heard wrong. Her ears were red, her voice was still stiff: "I'm asking you." "Why do you want to have a relationship with me?" "Do you have to write a market report if you like someone?" "It's best to have supporting data." She angrily turned around and left. I chased after her two steps, holding her bag strap. She turned her head and glared at me: "Let go." "It's not that I don't like you." As soon as this sentence came out, my chest felt like something had hit me hard. Of course I like her. That feeling did not disappear simply because I had returned to the age of eighteen. When I was at my poorest, she used to eat instant noodles with me; When my mother was in the hospital, she took three days off from care; In the house she rented after getting married, she used an old oven to bake a tray of cakes so hard that they could crack walnuts. I remember the times she crossed the line later, and I also remember that she truly loved me. The hardest thing to let go of is never a completely broken person, but a person who once gave you warmth, then hurt you.
over and over again in the same place. "I just cannot tell whether you like me now, or whether you like the version of yourself that always stood beside Gu Cheng." Shen Nianchu's eyes gradually cooled: "You still think that all my choices are related to him." "After the age of twelve, a lot of your choices are indeed related to him." "That is my experience, not my fault." She used force to yank back the strap of her bag.