Chapter 8 — Mistakes Cannot Be Compensated

I stared at that series of numbers, both ears ringing. Pregnant. This phrase has appeared many times in my life and Luc Hoai Xuyen. The first year after we got married, I asked him if he liked children. He said it depends on fate. My sophomore year, I once bought a small pair of socks and hid them in the closet. Then because of work, my father passed away, my mother got sick, we never seriously talked about this again. When Luc Hoai Xuyen pushed the door open and walked in, he was still wearing a white blouse. He walked very quickly, sweat beaded on his forehead.

“Why did you suddenly faint?”

The nurse was about to answer when On Thu Nha followed behind.

“Probably hypoglycemia.”

She placed a bag of bread on the nightstand.

“This afternoon, Ms. Gia Hoa didn't eat, and she's not in a good mood these days.”

Luc Hoai Xuyen frowned and looked at me.

“How many times have I told you, if you have a bad stomach, you have to eat on time.”

I clutched the test form tightly.

“The doctor also said…”

“Director Luc.”

Outside the door, someone called and interrupted.

“Aunt On just had low blood pressure, the recovery room told me to come over there right away.”

On Thu Nha's face suddenly lost all blood.

“What's wrong with your mother?”

Luc Hoai Xuyen immediately turned around.

“Let's go there first.”

He walked to the door, as if suddenly remembering I was still there, turned around and told the nurse:

“Give her the entire bottle of sugar.”

I looked at him.

“Luc Hoai Xuyen.”

He stopped walking. The paper in my hand was wrinkled.

“What's wrong?”

On Thu Nha stood next to him, tears falling. The footsteps in the hallway were loud and chaotic. I loosened my grip on the test form.

“Nothing.”

Luc Hoai Xuyen did not ask any more.

"I probably won't be home tonight. I'll catch the car myself."

The door closed, the nurse took the examination paper from my hand and smoothed it.

“Your husband doesn't know yet, right?”

I looked up at the ceiling.

“Even knowing it now is of no use.”

5 When Tong Dao rushed to the hospital, he had just finished receiving an IV drip. She carried a bag of hot porridge, sat on the edge of the bed and stared at me for a long time.

“What are you planning on doing?”

I told her about the pregnancy. Tong Dao did not immediately advise me to keep it, nor did he make the decision for me. She opened the porridge box and gave me the spoon.

“Eat first.”

I took two mouthfuls. My stomach gradually warmed up, my thoughts slowly became clearer.

“I don't want to keep it.”

Tong Dao's hand holding the cup tightened.

“Because of Luc Hoai Xuyen?”

“For myself.”

I can't imagine that for many years to come, I will have to maintain contact with Luc Hoai Xuyen through a child. I can't guarantee that I won't have to stand in the hospital hallway again waiting for him when I'm sick, I'm hurt, I need a father. He always has more important surgeries. More urgent patients. An On Thu Nha needs more care. I've waited enough. Tong Dao asked: "Have you thought carefully?"

“Um.”

“Then I'll go with you.”

The hospital requires a more thorough examination before the procedure. After reviewing the results, the doctor reminded me that there were currently signs of a miscarriage, and that the risk of bleeding after the procedure would be a little higher than usual.

“It's best to have a family member come with you.”

I said: "Can we be friends, doctor?"

“Okay.”

The appointment is scheduled for Tuesday next week. Before leaving the hospital, I passed by the intensive care room. On Thu Nha sat on a long bench, burying her face in her hands. Luc Hoai Xuyen stood in front of her, whispering something. When she looked up, her eyes were red and swollen. Luc Hoai Xuyen gave her a tissue.

“Blood pressure is stable now, monitor more tonight.”

“Is it possible that this will happen again?”

“I'm at the hospital.”

Just those few short words made On Thu Nha gradually calm down.